(29) “Gun Shy”

Original Airdate: (March 29, 1958)

Paladin finds himself in Montana chasing a band of thieves who stole a valuable chess set from Hey Boy’s family. While there, Paladin finds himself attracted to a landlady’s beautiful daughter.

Director: Lamont Johnson

Writers: Frank Hursley (teleplay), Doris Hursley (teleplay)

RICHARD BOONE as Paladin

JEANETTE NOLAN as Ma Warren

LISA GAYE as Nancy Warren

COREY ALLEN as Chuck Anderson

STEPHEN WOOTTON as Jed Warren

KAM TONG as Hey Boy

BEAL WONG as Sing Wo (as W. Beal Wong)

ZON MURRAY as Dayton

ROBERT BUSCH as Maddox (as Bob Busch)

HANK PATTERSON as Pete Gilson

DAN BLOCKER as Joe – Thief No. 1

MARTIN BALK as Rip – Thief No. 2

Up to now, I thought Big Pine was a friendly place.
But if you want to turn it into a battlefield, I’m your man.

 

INT. CARLTON HOTEL – PALADIN’S HOTEL SUITE -DAY

Paladin is admiring a very ornate chesspiece.

PALADIN
It’s beautiful.
It’s one of the finest
pieces of jade I’ve ever seen.
It’s beautifully carved.
Where’d you get it?

HEYBOY
Gift from uncle Sing-Wo,
Mr. Paladin.
It come from set given to great
grandfather by Celestial Emperor.
Comes from when ancestor was
houseboy in imperial court.
Set come down through
family to uncle.

PALADIN
And, your uncle broke up the set
just to give you a present?

HEYBOY
Set already broken.
Other pieces
stolen from uncle.
I know how you like chess men.
Especially knight.
So I would be pleased,
If you accept it
as my gift.

PALADIN
Thank you, hey boy.
That’s very kind of you.
And, now that I’ve seen this one,
I’d like very much to get
my hands on the rest of the set.
When was it stolen?

HEYBOY
Day before yesterday.
Three men come
to uncle’s laundry.
Police think they’re men
who bust out of jail.
Come to uncle’s laundry
to steal clothes.
They hit uncle
on the head,
Take his money
and chess set too.

PALADIN
Well, I imagine your uncle would
like to see those men caught.
All right, hey boy.
It looks as though
I have a job.

FADE TO

EXT. SUNG WO LAUNDRY – DAY

HEYBOY (O.S.)
and uncle very busy ironing shirt.
Like he’s doing now.

HEYBOY
Three men come in.
They take laundry from shelf.
Throw clothes all
around the floor,
Until they find
what they want.

PALADIN
What did sing do?

HEYBOY
Uncle sing wo small man.
But plenty mean with iron.
He grab it and go at them.
But they were too fast
and hit him on head.
When he wake up,
they were gone.
Also strongbox with money
and chess set.
Except the one
they drop on floor.

PALADIN
How much money
did sing wo lose?

SING-WO
Money?
Money plenty.
Hundred.
One..Two…

PALADIN
I have some chinese.

Paladin speaks in Chinese and Sing-Wo replies excitedly

HEYBOY
$443.12.
Plenty money
to uncle sing wo.

PALADIN
Plenty of money to anyone.
Can you describe
the men to me?

Paladin attempts to speak correct Chinese.

Sing-Wo replies very excitedly. Heyboy speaks Chinese also.

PALADIN
(apoligizing for not understanding what was said)
I’m sorry.

HEYBOY
They plenty big
and plenty ugly.
Uncle sing wo also say
what he do to men,
If he ever find them.

PALADIN
I get the general idea,
but with two day’s head start
They’ll be
miles from here.

HEYBOY
Uncle know where they go.
Robber think they hit
uncle on head,
Go to sleep,
but he no go to sleep.
He listen and he hear some
English, American english.
They say “hide”
and then go to Canada.

PALADIN
Still, that’s
a very wide trail.

UNCLE
Big pine.

Uncle attempts to speak correct English.

PALADIN
Big pine, montana.
That’s right
near the border.
It’s logical they should
try to cross from there.

HEYBOY
You know, mr. Paladin?
It is all the money that
uncle have in the world.
You see how hard
he have to work for it?
All by himself.
It’s a terrible thing for
an old man to have nothing.
To start all over again.

PALADIN
Hey boy, let’s hope
he won’t have to.
I’ll see you
in a few days.

HEYBOY
About chess set,
mr. Paladin.
Finders keeper.

paladin laughs, then leaves laundry shop

FADE TO

EXT. BIG PINE, MONTANA – PRARIE – DAY

PALADIN (V.O.)
It took me three days
to reach big pine, montana.
When I arrived there,
I found that the town
Consisted solely of a building
called warren’s boarding house.

JED
You figure on
staying long, mister?

PALADIN
That depends.
You live here?

JED
Yep.

PALADIN
Have you seen three men
pass through here
In the last couple of days?

JED
Together?

PALADIN
Yes.

JED
No.

PALADIN
Well, If they were trying to get
to the canadian border,
They’d have to pass through
here, wouldn’t they?

JED
Depends on where
they’re coming from.

PALADIN
From the mountains.

JED
Yep.

PALADIN
Yep what?

JED
They’d come through here.

PALADIN
And you haven’t seen ’em?

JED
Nope.

PALADIN
You’re talkative, aren’t you?

JED
You staying or not?

PALADIN
Yep.

JED
Then your horse
goes in the stable.
Ma don’t like ’em clutterin’ up
the front of the house.

MA WARREN
Gentlemen, dinner is served.

JED
Set another place, ma.

PALADIN
Good afternoon.
My name is paladin.

99
00:06:13,622 –> 00:06:15,656
Howdy.
I’m ma warren.

100
00:06:15,758 –> 00:06:17,658
You’re just in time.
Dinner is ready.

PALADIN
Good, so am I.

102
00:06:23,015 –> 00:06:25,333
Why, thank you.

103
00:06:29,522 –> 00:06:31,623
Did I hear you call
supper, mrs. Warren?
Sure did, mr. Maddox.
Go in and set yourself.
Something wrong,
mr. Paladin?

PALADIN
That aroma…
That wouldn’t be supper?
Why sure.
Smells all right to me.

PALADIN
All right?

110
00:06:47,506 –> 00:06:49,373
You must be
serving a feast.

111
00:06:49,474 –> 00:06:51,543
Nope, regular meal.

112
00:06:51,644 –> 00:06:53,411
Pheasant tonight.

113
00:06:53,512 –> 00:06:57,048
Pheasant?
Roasted in grape leaves.

PALADIN
Mrs. Warren,
you’re a culinary oasis
In a desert of boiled beef!

116
00:07:02,087 –> 00:07:03,755
Well, thanks!
You’d better come in
if you want to get any.
Around the table these fellas
have got four hands apiece.
Don’t forget the hardware.
Hang it up right there,
it’s a custom of the house.

PALADIN
I’m very sorry, I never go
anywhere without this gun.

 

Nobody comes to
my table armed.
It’s up to you.
Either hang it up or get
your supper somewhere’s else.
Mrs. Warren, save me
a place will you?
I’ll be right back.
You gonna be out here
for awhile, son?

128
00:07:48,567 –> 00:07:50,301
Yep and the name’s jed.
PALADIN
I beg your pardon.
Jed, I’d like to make a deal
with you if I possibly can.
If you see three hard-looking
strangers ride this way,
Will you come and
tell me right away?

133
00:08:00,245 –> 00:08:02,213
Friends of yours?

PALADIN
No, it’s not likely.

134
00:08:02,314 –> 00:08:03,615
Figures.

135
00:08:03,716 –> 00:08:05,282
jed, where the blazes are you?

136
00:08:05,383 –> 00:08:07,418
Easy, mister.
He’s no stranger.

137
00:08:07,519 –> 00:08:09,120
Why ain’t you out front?

138
00:08:09,221 –> 00:08:11,322
I got nothing better to do
than drag this horse in here?

139
00:08:11,423 –> 00:08:14,258
My fault.

PALADIN
I was talking to the boy.

140
00:08:14,359 –> 00:08:16,260
You passing through?

141
00:08:16,361 –> 00:08:17,862
Uh…Slowly.

142
00:08:17,963 –> 00:08:19,964
Then you’re staying.
For awhile.

143
00:08:20,065 –> 00:08:22,100
Why?
I’m visiting.

144
00:08:22,200 –> 00:08:24,035
Who?

PALADIN
Young fella,
you sound like a sheriff.
Are you?
No.
But I reckon you know
what a sheriff sounds like.
PALADIN
I thought all this time that
big pine was a friendly place.

149
00:08:39,652 –> 00:08:41,819
Not to everybody.

PALADIN
Who put the burr
under his saddle?

151
00:08:49,361 –> 00:08:51,029
He always rides that way.

152
00:08:51,130 –> 00:08:53,865
He thinks he’s boss of this
range and makes everybody know it.

PALADIN
He’s not very subtle
about it, is he?

154
00:08:56,001 –> 00:08:58,602
Not afraid of him, are you?

PALADIN
No, I don’t think so.
But I don’t like
complications.

157
00:09:23,511 –> 00:09:25,679
Hey.
You miss me?
Really, chuck!

159
00:09:28,917 –> 00:09:30,918
Mr. Paladin?
That’s right.

160
00:09:31,019 –> 00:09:33,620
I’m nancy, ma’s daughter.
I set a place for you.

PALADIN
The food smells excellent.
The service looks even better.

162
00:09:36,491 –> 00:09:38,292
Right over here.

163
00:09:39,328 –> 00:09:41,095
This is mr. Paladin,
everybody.

164
00:09:41,196 –> 00:09:42,997
Mr. Gilson…

165
00:09:44,266 –> 00:09:46,934
Mr. Dayton…
Howdy.

166
00:09:47,035 –> 00:09:48,970
Mr. Frye.

167
00:09:49,071 –> 00:09:51,105
Mr. Maddox.

PALADIN
Gentlemen.

169
00:09:53,308 –> 00:09:55,176
What about me?

170
00:09:55,277 –> 00:09:57,778
Find a place and
pull up a chair.

171
00:10:02,985 –> 00:10:05,086
Shove over.

PALADIN
Now that’s extraordinary.
It’s real french bread.
Who’d ever believe
you’d find a meal like this
In the middle of montana?

175
00:10:21,136 –> 00:10:23,104
Mrs. Warren’s well known
for her meals, sir.

176
00:10:23,205 –> 00:10:25,539
Folks come from miles
to enjoy ’em.

177
00:10:25,640 –> 00:10:27,741
I know, I’m way off
my regular sales route,

178
00:10:27,842 –> 00:10:29,743
But I just couldn’t
pass her by.

179
00:10:29,844 –> 00:10:32,013
Mister, what’s your line?

PALADIN
I’m a businessman of sorts.
Business.
I don’t suppose you’re going to
find much business around here.
How long you figure
on staying?

PALADIN
That depends on
how good business is.
You live around here?

186
00:10:46,028 –> 00:10:47,995
I own a piece.
Got a ranch.

187
00:10:48,096 –> 00:10:50,264
About a thousand acres.

PALADIN
That sounds promising.
What’s your brand look like?
Brand?
I don’t need a brand.
I just tell folks it’s mine,
And they’re smart enough
to believe me.
How ’bout that, frank?
Gilson?

192
00:11:04,879 –> 00:11:06,780
‘course…

193
00:11:06,881 –> 00:11:09,517
Those who don’t believe me…

194
00:11:09,617 –> 00:11:11,352
Soon learn better.

PALADIN
Well, now I understand
why ma makes everyone
Hang up the guns.

197
00:11:17,659 –> 00:11:19,927
Here we are.

PALADIN
That’s beautiful.
Simply beautiful.

200
00:11:35,477 –> 00:11:37,078
I’m waiting, chuck.
You going to eat supper here or not? Yeah.

202
00:11:39,548 –> 00:11:41,348
Tend to business.

PALADIN
This stuffing…
Now that is extraordinary.
Thyme, marjoram and…
…Sweet basil.
I can’t believe it.
Well, neither can I.
I could just
break down and bawl!
There was once a fella who
could tell when I used garlic.

210
00:12:01,470 –> 00:12:03,537
That was the most
I ever hoped for.

211
00:12:03,638 –> 00:12:06,440
I’ll bring the coffee.

212
00:12:08,143 –> 00:12:10,711
Mister…

PALADIN
My name is paladin.
Mister, that’s what I meant.
She’s got my brand on her.

PALADIN
Which one? Mother or daughter?

215
00:12:17,619 –> 00:12:20,554
Let’s get something
straight right now.
In this country, we shoot
claim jumpers on sight.

PALADIN
I’m sure they die
very happy.

218
00:12:37,905 –> 00:12:39,773
Good night, mr. Frye.

219
00:12:39,874 –> 00:12:42,009
Good night, pete.
Thanks for the pheasant.
Next time,
get ’em in the head.
I was all morning picking
the buckshot out of these.

222
00:12:46,881 –> 00:12:49,316
I’ll watch it.

223
00:12:49,417 –> 00:12:51,285
Did you enjoy your dinner,
mr. Paladin?

PALADIN
It was superb.
Where do you get food
like that around here?

226
00:12:55,123 –> 00:12:56,923
Oh, folks bring it in.
Like the pheasant tonight.
Pete gilson gave me those.
He’s a hunter and trapper,
back in the mountains.
He brings in venison,
wild duck and geese.

230
00:13:04,866 –> 00:13:07,401
Mr. Frye, he’s a prospector
up in bitter creek.

231
00:13:07,502 –> 00:13:09,503
He’s always good
for a mess of trout.

PALADIN
sounds like a good system.
What about the other two,
Mr. Maddox and Mr. Dayton?
They regular customers?
Mr. Maddox is regular.
He always stops on his route.
Mr. Dayton is new though.
He’s with the railroad.
They’re surveying.
I gotta get to my dishes.
Your room is ready whenever
you want to turn in.
It’s the first door at
the head of the stairs.

PALADIN
Thank you.
Good night.
Are you going riding
with chuck, dear?
I don’t know.
I haven’t made up
my mind yet.
Well, chuck said
he’d be back for you.
Can I ask you a question,
Mr. Paladin?

PALADIN
Of course.
Exactly what do you do?
“have gun, will travel.”

PALADIN
You’re shocked?
No, just thinking.
Can anyone hire you?

PALADIN
I try to be
a little bit choosy.
In my profession, a man has to
be careful of his reputation.

255
00:14:25,847 –> 00:14:27,548
Could I hire you?

PALADIN
You? What for?
Chuck.
He thinks he owns me.
He scares everybody off but he never
says anything about getting married.
I’ll end up being
an old maid!

PALADIN
Hardly.
You don’t think so?

261
00:14:40,395 –> 00:14:42,429
Chuck was away
for a whole month.

262
00:14:42,530 –> 00:14:44,632
Just got back
couple of days ago.

263
00:14:44,733 –> 00:14:47,668
And not one fella asked me
to go riding with him.

264
00:14:47,769 –> 00:14:49,470
He’s got ’em all buffaloed.

265
00:14:49,571 –> 00:14:51,572
But he still won’t do
anything serious about me.

PALADIN
And you want him to?

267
00:14:53,675 –> 00:14:55,909
Well…

268
00:14:56,010 –> 00:14:58,011
He’s got to make up his mind
one way or the other.

PALADIN
What do you want me to do,
shoot him?

270
00:14:59,847 –> 00:15:02,783
No, just make him jealous.

PALADIN
I see, you want him
to shoot me.
I don’t think
he’d go that far.
And it wouldn’t be for long,
just a few days.

PALADIN
I’m sorry, I’d like
very much to help you,
But this really
isn’t in my line.
Is that final, mr. Paladin?

PALADIN
Ordinarily, I wouldn’t even
have to be asked, but…

PALADIN
Nancy, where’d you get this?
Chuck gave it to me.

PALADIN

Chuck?
Silly, isn’t it?
Didn’t know what to do with it,
so I put a chain on it.

PALADIN
Where did chuck get it?
He said he bought it
from somebody.
You like it?
You can have it.

284
00:15:44,192 –> 00:15:46,360
You said you were for hire.
This is what I’ll pay you.

PALADIN
I’m trying to find out…
Put your arms around me.

286
00:15:48,296 –> 00:15:50,331
hey!

287
00:15:51,333 –> 00:15:53,166
What’s going on here?

288
00:15:53,267 –> 00:15:55,336
Oh, nothing.

289
00:15:55,437 –> 00:15:57,438
I’m sorry, I can’t go
riding with you tonight.

290
00:15:57,539 –> 00:15:59,039
What?

291
00:15:59,140 –> 00:16:02,343
Mr. Paladin is taking me to eagle’s
nest butte to see the moon rise.

292
00:16:02,444 –> 00:16:04,478
I don’t know what you’re
trying to start, mister.

293
00:16:04,579 –> 00:16:07,147
But you better haul back
on your reins real quick!

PALADIN
We’re merely going
to eagle’s nest butte
To see the moon rise.

296
00:16:10,952 –> 00:16:14,254
I told you.
She’s got my brand on her.

PALADIN
Young man, are you
under the impression
That nancy is a cow?
Shall we?

300
00:16:26,934 –> 00:16:28,769
I’m warning you, mister!

301
00:16:28,870 –> 00:16:31,872
If you ain’t out of big pine
by tomorrow, you’ll die here.

PALADIN
I’ll bear that in mind,
But I don’t think
I’ll lose sleep over it.
Did you see
the look on his face?
He’s fit to spit fire!

PALADIN
I felt the heat.

306
00:16:42,617 –> 00:16:45,419
What’s that!

PALADIN
That was very nice shooting.
Nothing special.
Hope you still get
your full night’s sleep.

PALADIN
Morning, jed.
If it’s all right with you,
I’d like to continue
that same deal.
Same three fellers?

PALADIN
Same three fellers.
Sure.

PALADIN
Thank you.
Good morning, mr. Paladin.

PALADIN
Morning.

316
00:17:21,256 –> 00:17:23,290
Breakfast is served
whenever you’re ready.

PALADIN
Don’t tell me I’m the last one.

 

Yep.
Mr. Maddox left
over an hour ago.
You and mr. Dayton
are the only ones left.
Hurry up, we’ve got steak
and trout with hotcakes.

PALADIN
Um hmmm.

322
00:17:34,702 –> 00:17:37,404
I told you to get out of
big pine by this morning.

PALADIN
Well now, you didn’t expect me to travel
on an empty stomach?

324
00:17:40,108 –> 00:17:42,309
Get! Right now.

PALADIN
With trout for breakfast?
Get or draw.

PALADIN
Don’t be silly.
Okay, mister.
Hold it right there.
land sakes, what’s going on here?
Chuck, you put that gun down.
Not until he
rides out of here.
You put that gun down right now
or sure as my name,
You’ll never set foot
in this house again!
Hang it up,
where it belongs.
Go on!

CHUCK
I’ll see you outside,
Paladin.
No more of that kind
of talk in my house.
Get inside and behave.
Idea! Acting like
a couple of little boys!
Set yourself and behave.

340
00:18:26,754 –> 00:18:29,123
Mr. Paladin…

341
00:18:29,224 –> 00:18:30,891
Chuck.

342
00:18:33,794 –> 00:18:36,563
Carrying on like that,
like a couple of mad dogs!

343
00:18:36,664 –> 00:18:38,565
That chuck!
Taking a gun to mr. Paladin
right in the front hall!

NANCY
Really?
Chuck wanted to shoot him?
Don’t look so happy
about it.
I don’t know what
you think you’re doing,
But if anything happens
to either one of them
You’re going to be
mighty sorry!

351
00:18:53,748 –> 00:18:56,917
This whole business…

MR. DAYTON
Good morning, miss Nancy.

NANCY
Morning, Mr. Dayton.
Had enough breakfast?

MR. DAYTON
Yes, thanks.
I gotta be riding out now.
Bye.

NANCY
Bye.

PALADIN
I have run out
of superlatives.
This chop
couldn’t be better.

358
00:20:29,144 –> 00:20:31,478
Mr. Paladin, you could eat here
for the rest of your life.
For nothing.

PALADIN
That’s a deal.

CHUCK
Nancy, this coyote
mean anything to you?

NANCY
Do you care?

CHUCK
You know blame well I do.

NANCY
Nice to hear it.

PALADIN
You know, ma…
I may have a recipe
that’s new even to you.
Have you tried marinating
venison in whiskey?

367
00:20:50,498 –> 00:20:52,466
Cooking with whiskey?
Um hmmm.
Well, I never.
Nancy, you ever
hear of that?

PALADIN
You should try it sometime.

371
00:21:00,542 –> 00:21:02,609
Good morning, mister.
You’re just in time
for breakfast.
Only you have to leave
your guns in the hall.
That’s a rule
of the house.

JOE
I’m making the rules now.
Stay put!

377
00:21:14,889 –> 00:21:17,023
Listen, mister…

JOE
Move back in the corner.

378
00:21:17,124 –> 00:21:18,958
You can’t talk
like that to me!

379
00:21:19,060 –> 00:21:20,794
Ma!

JOE
Right smart of you, mister.
Now, let’s have it
all peaceful and quiet.
Everybody just sit back
and behave yourselves,
And nobody’ll get hurt.

CHUCK
What’s the idea, there ain’t
nothing worth stealing here.

JOE
We’ll take what we can get
when we’re ready.
Meantime, we’ll
just relax awhile.

PALADIN
You waiting for someone?

JOE
You are smart, mister.

RIP
If we’re going to stay,
how about some grub?
I’m starving.

JOE
Fair enough.
We’ll take that
invite now, ma’am.
Rustle us up some breakfast.

MA
Don’t wave that gun at me!

NANCY
Never mind, ma.
Come on.

JOE
Not you, chiquita.
You stay here with us.
Just in case your ma figures
on cooking up some trouble.

NANCY
I just baked some fresh bread.
It’s in the breadbox.

MA
You?

NANCY
In the breadbox.

JOE
Everybody stays nice
and quiet like this.
We’ll be on our way later
and nobody’ll be worse off.

PALADIN
That’s a very
strange thing.
Picking an out of the way
place like this,
To wait for someone.

JOE
That’s exactly why.
It’s out of the way.

PALADIN
And it’s only one day’s ride
from the canadian border.

JOE
Mister…
You’re starting to get
a little bit too smart.

PALADIN
I can do better than that.
Much better.

MA
Nancy, you better get these
new fellers some hot coffee.
I’ll pass this bread.
Regular customers first.
Hey!

MA
You’ll get yours,
don’t worry.
Help yourself, chuck.

CHUCK
Thank you, ma.

413
00:22:48,849 –> 00:22:51,151
Hey, come on!
Let’s have that bread now.

414
00:22:51,252 –> 00:22:54,321
My friends…
Lean back.

415
00:22:55,290 –> 00:22:58,158
Now on the floor.
By the muzzles.

416
00:23:02,830 –> 00:23:04,097
Thank you.

MR. DAYTON
Drop it, kid.
You’re covered.

PALADIN
That’s good.
That’s very good.

CHUCK
Didn’t want nobody else having
the pleasure of gunning you.
I want to marry you.

NANCY
Chuck!
Uh…But…
Don’t look so surprised!
I had to do something
to wake you up.

CHUCK
What?

NANCY
Thanks, mr. Paladin.
You did a very nice job.

MA
You better leave your address,
in case chuck forgets.

CHUCK
Not a chance!

PALADIN
Chuck.

CHUCK
Yeah?

PALADIN
Where’d you get this?

CHUCK
That fella dayton.
He had a whole mess of ’em.

PALADIN
Well, Dayton’s dead.
If you keep an eye
on these two,
I’ll check his room
for the rest of them.

FADE TO

EXT. BARN

432
00:24:16,371 –> 00:24:17,937
What happened?

PALADIN
For one thing, young man,
you didn’t do a good job.
You didn’t warn me.

435
00:24:21,942 –> 00:24:24,077
But you said
three men together.
I ain’t seen no
three men together yet.

PALADIN
Jed…
If it’s not
too much trouble,
Will you help me get
my horse ready to go?

FADE TO

INT. CHINESE LAUNDRY SHOP – DAY

PALADIN
All right, now next time…
Tell him to keep it
in the bank.
Your move, hey boy.

HEYBOY
Checkmate.

PALADIN
What?

HEYBOY
Checkmate.

PALADIN
Well, how do you like that?

HEYBOY
Looks like chess set not worth
all the trouble to find, huh?

Goofs

Continuity: Boone is filmed outdoors on a hill, looking down on a boarding house with his collar buttoned and wearing a white necktie. When he arrives at the house seconds later (on an indoor set), the tie is gone and the collar open.