52-“The Solid Gold Patrol”

Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen, Written by Irving Wallace.

Sean McClory as Cpl. Mike CallahanCPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
Mike Kellin as Sgt. Major SiebertSGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Perry Cook as Pvt. Krosowski
Jim Kline as Pvt. Ritter
Robert Cabal as Pvt. Espinosa
Don Keefer as Col. Barlowe
EDDIE LITTLE SKY as White Bull
Michael Hagan as Adjutant
Letting your men get killed off one by one may fatten your share of that lottery ticket, sergeant. But one thing you can be sure of, you won’t live to spend it.

PALADIN
Good evening, Hey Boy. Getting rid of some bills?

HEY BOY
Uh, Paladin. Getting rid of lottery ticket. It’s no good. Cost me forty dollars. Somebody else win.

PALADIN
Lottery? The Louisiana Lottery? They’ve had the drawing already?

HEY BOY
Last night, in New Orleans. Two million dollars in prizes. Nothing for Hey Boy.

PALADIN
Oh, that’s too bad. Here, perhaps this will repair some of the damage to your purse.

HEY BOY
Thank you. I save this for next lottery. Maybe San Francisco win again.

PALADIN
You mean somebody from this town won?

HEY BOY
Yeah, poor man now rich. You look see.

PALADIN (reading aloud)
“San Franciscan wins Louisiana Lottery. $600,000 ticket held by local cavalryman. The name on the winning receipt was that of Corporal Mike Callahan, Who’s listed address is San Francisco. The sponsors of the lottery announced that Corporal Callahan must personally notify New Orleans, and confirmed that he holds the correct number to collect his mammoth $600,000 grand prize. This newspaper, as well as civic authorities, Have traced Corporal Callahan to his last station at Fort Steele, But have been unable to locate him, and inform him of his bonanza. Unless Corporal Callahan comes forward or can be found within a week, He risks forfeiting the grand prize.”

Well, if he’s at Fort Steele, why doesn’t he come forward?

HEY BOY
Don’t know.

PALADIN
Unless he’s not at Fort Steele and doesn’t know he’s won. $600,00 dollars. No, that’s too much money to be ignorant of.

HEY BOY
Mr. Paladin! What’s the matter, you no like paper?

PALADIN
No, hey boy, I’m more interested in another kind of paper right now. I’d like to see what a winning lottery ticket looks like.

EXT. ON THE TRAIL

INT. COLONEL’S OFFICE – FORT STEELE – DAY

PALADIN
You were saying that Corporal Callahan is overdue.

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That’s right, he and his whole patrol, two days. He was in Company B. They were sent out in field duty a few weeks ago. Sergeant Major Siebert with Callahan under him, And three privates were sent on an advanced scouting mission. They didn’t come back. Company B was too hard-pressed to hunt for them. We’re having a massive Indian problem.

PALADIN
What do you think happened
to them, colonel?

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For all I know, they’re dead and scalped by now. Xano’s got every apache on the war path. Captain, alert the hospital and Company E.

CAPTAIN
Yes, sir.

PALADIN
Colonel, I understood that peace
negotiations were being held with the apaches.

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That’s just it, xano made his demands, reasonable enough. Strip of land called “orleans canyon”, Certain water rights. But the land treaty commissioner in washington Has been sitting on his hands, quibbling about details. Xano got tired of waiting, decided to have his way by force. I tell you…

MESSENGER
From washington, sir.
Urgent!

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Thank heavens, this is what we’ve been waiting for. The land commission has agreed to concede all xano’s demands. The final treaty will be here… By courier.

PALADIN
When will you have it? Nine, ten days. ’till then, I guess we’ll just have to keep fighting. I’m afraid you have to excuse me, I’m sorry I can’t help you find your friend, callahan.

PALADIN
Well, he’s not exactly a friend, colonel. I wanted to see him about business. We can’t spare a man to help you. We’re barely holding our own, and callahan will have to hold his own. If he’s alive.

PALADIN
Well, I’d like to find that out. If he’s alive, I mean. I’m not sure I know what you do mean.

PALADIN
I’d like to run him down.

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In that country? It’s swarming with savages.

PALADIN
I’ll take my chances.

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I’ve said we can’t help you.

PALADIN
Well colonel, I’m used to traveling alone, The only help I’ll need, is some general idea where the platoon might be.

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The missing platoon had to touch three different water holes. Apache wells, indian spring, mesquite wells. If I were you…And I wouldn’t be for all of that $600,000, I’d start here, apache wells.

EXT. ON THE TRAIL TO APACHE WELLS – DAY

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00:06:12,003 –> 00:06:13,137
Come on.

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Right down here!

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Espinoza, get his horse back with the others. Quick!

PALADIN
Thanks for the helping hand.

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Who are you?

CARD

PALADIN
I’m here on a matter of business. You’re sergeant major siebert, aren’t you?

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
What business?

PALADIN
I want to see one of your men, Corporal mike callahan. Is he with you?

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Callahan, come here.

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
Be right with you!

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Mr. Paladin, he came all the way from san francisco to see you.

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
Are you joking?

PALADIN
Not today, corporal. You ever buy a ticket on a Louisiana lottery?

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
Yeah, I sure shootin’ did. Ever since hannah and me decided to get married, We’ve been buying up every chance that comes around.

PALADIN
You have the ticket with you?

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN

Yeah!

PALADIN
May I see it?

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
Sure.

PALADIN
Yep, that’s the right number. Congratulations, corporal, you’re rich.

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
What do you mean I’m rich?

PALADIN
I mean, you won the Louisiana Lottery, First prize, $600,000.

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
Who me?
I’m a winner?

PALADIN
That’s what I came out here to tell you.

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
Yippee, I’m rich! I’m rich!

PALADIN
There’s only one problem, corporal. You have three days in which to notify new orleans you have the winning number.

CPL. MIKE CALLAHAN
Hey, you said you were going to help me, but you never said how.

PALADIN
Because I didn’t know. I’ve had a few hours to look around, and I still don’t know. Must be 50 or 60 apaches out there.

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
I say we’re as good as dead. They’ll get a notion to rush us.

PALADIN
I don’t think so. Why should they waste lives? All they have to do is wait until we’re out of food and ammunition.

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I still don’t know why you got yourself into this mess.

PALADIN
I’ve already told corporal callahan I expect a fee. Besides, he was missing. I was curious.

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Yeah, about this fee, if you do get me out of here, what’s it gonna be?

PALADIN
Under the circumstances, I’ll leave that to your discretion. What do you think your life’s worth now? Well…How about one sixth of the total value of the ticket? $100,000.

PALADIN
Well now, that’s generous…

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Say, why couldn’t we get out of here just the way you came in?

PALADIN
That was fool’s luck. I was alone, I caught them by surprise. If we all tried to go out of here, they’d cut us to ribbons.

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Well, maybe we don’t all have to get out of here, Why not just you and me?

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
I’d call that desertion, corporal. Ritter…Get out there with espinoza, keep your eyes open. Ain’t nobody leaving this picnic ground while I’m in command. I’m giving orders. I got an order for you, callahan. You got the water detail. In the morning, you take them empty canteens down, and fill them at the hole.
What do you mean water detail? I had that yesterday and I almost got killed.

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
You got it again, rich boy.
Now just a minute here! If you think I’m going out there to get killed so you can have the ticket, you’re wrong.

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
That lottery ticket is making you kind of jumpy, callahan. Maybe you’d like a different kind of detail?

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Like what, for instance?

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Like being officially assigned to ride to fort steele, alone. For reinforcements.

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You’d do that little thing for me, wouldn’t you? You’d let me get out of here so I could cash in my ticket on time, huh?

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
I might.

PALADIN
That’s very generous of you, sergeant. When anyone is that generous, I often ask myself, ‘what’s in it for him?’

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Same thing that’s in it for you. I heard out there, one sixth cut. One hundred thousand dollars.

CPL
All right, sergeant.
You got yourself a deal.

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
I’d like that in writing. “if I win the louisiana lottery, I promise to pay sergeant siebert…One hundred thousand dollars. Sign your name.

ES
I don’t think that piece of paper would look very good at a court martial, sarge.

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Meaning what?

ES
You’re forcing a bribe, playing favoritism. If he start that, we be shoot at each other, not the indians.

PALADIN
Well now, he’s got a point. Corporal, you mind if I make a suggestion?

CPL
No, go ahead, we’re in business together.

PALADIN
You start giving out one or two pieces, it’ll split up the group, cause trouble. Now, if everybody was a partner…

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What do you mean ‘everybody?’

P
There are six of us. If each man had a sixth of that ticket…

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That’ll… That’ll only leave me with $100,000.

PALADIN
Callahan, before I got here, you were dead broke. At that point, you would have said $100,000 would be enough For you and hannah, wouldn’t you?

CPL

Yeah, sure but…

PALADIN
If everybody is an equal partner, Then everybody’s going to fight to protect that ticket, As hard as he would to protect his own neck. No prejudice, no favoritism, just six men Trying to survive and cash in. Now you think it over, be the best deal you ever made.

CPL
All right, we’re all partners together.

RIT
All right, I have your canteens. How am I ever going to get to new york and be an artist? All the drawing I’ve been doing out here is the water detail.

ES
It was fair, we all drew for the same chance.

ROT
Yeah, I know.

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
I’ll cover you.

PALADIN
Siebert, letting your men get killed one at a time may fatten your ticket, It won’t save your skin.
Thanks, sarge.

SGT. MAJOR SIEBERT
Forget it.

PALADIN
Where’s siebert?
I don’t know.

PALADIN
Hold it! You’ll wake those Indians. Well corporal, looks like you’re in charge.

ASIAN
That waits for us.

CPL
I still think he’s got the ticket in his cap, he kept everything there.

PALADIN
Well, there’s one way to find out.

RIT
There it goes, there’s the ticket. Look, the wind is blowing it away from us.

PALADIN
Hold your fire.

CPL
Well you earned your fee, Mr. Paladin.

PALADIN
Not quite yet. It’s amazing how curious those Indians are, they’ll come after anything. I’d like to get one of them alive.

CPL

Why?

P
We’ve got to try. We’re almost out of ammunition.
We’ll be dead by morning if we don’t try something.

ES
Then, like what?

PALADIN
Like… Leading a couple of our horses down to the foot of this hill.

ES
But the indians will take them.

PALADIN
Maybe not.

CPL
So you get yourself an Indian, what good is that gonna do?
Won’t get us out of here. It certainly won’t make this
worth half a million either.

PALADIN
Might make that worth more than a half a million. Might make it worth your life. All right, callahan, get him out of here. Go on! Get up that hill. Get up there! Go on! Come on. Get up there, go on!

P
You have some English, White Bull. Do you also read the white man’s words?

No.

PALADIN
Then you do not know the white fathers’ desire to make a treaty of peace with your people?
Xano no believe.

PALADIN
Now what do you, a mere brave, know of what xano believes?
He leads us.

PALADIN
Xano leads you?
You mean he’s out there now?

BRAVE

Yes.

PALADIN
Why does he wish to kill us?
We do no harm.

BRAVE
Xano’s anger is great. The pale face speaks of treaty, But no treaty. Xano fights.

PALADIN
That is why I didn’t kill you, I
wanted you to know of the treaty.

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Yes, where treaty?

PALADIN
Being finished at the fort, so it will be ready to sign. But they sent me ahead with the first page. So I can show it to xano. And xano will keep his patience, and wait in peace.

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No believe! Trick.

PALADIN
Our words are not empty. I’m perfectly willing to show the treaty to your chief. You’re free to go to him. Tell him of the treaty, tell him it waits for him. Go!

CPL
Paladin is crazy, wait ’till that indian finds out that we haven’t got a treaty.
I’ve got the treaty?

PALADIN
That’s right, in your boot. What are you talkin’ about?
All I’ve got in my boot…
The ticket, huh?

PALADIN
The $600,000 first prize in the louisiana lottery.
That could be the price of our freedom.
No!

PALADIN
That’s the only piece of paper we have that could possibly look like an official document. I don’t know if xano will even see us, and if he does, I certainly don’t know whether he’ll believe that thing Is part of a treaty, but he might. And that could save our scalps.

CPL
He won’t like being fooled.

PALADIN
He’s not being fooled. I was with col. Barlow in the fort. When the news came from washington that the treaty has gone through. It’s only a matter of days. Now what do you say?

CPL
Look, you were the one who made me divide the ticket up. Now, why don’t you ask them to decide?

PALADIN
All right. You’ve all heard it, this is a long shot. And I think it’s the only shot we’ve got. My vote is yes. Krosowski?

KROSOWSKI
Well…I guess my folks would rather have me than money. I say, give it up.

PALADIN
Ritter?

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I’ll vote yes.

PALADIN
Espinoza?

ESPINOZA
Yes, señor.

PALADIN
All right, callahan,
now it’s up to you.

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Well, this is a democracy. What have I got to say but yes, too.

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Hey! Look!

PALADIN
The ticket, corporal.

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Oh…

PALADIN
Xano, this is the first page of the treaty. This is the house of the white father. This is the flag that stands behind the treaty. This number says how many acres you will own. These are the seals that make it official. This word is “orleans” showing you will have permanent possession of Orleans Canyon. You will have the entire treaty in your hands, before the moon is full again, if you let us go free.

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Xano take treaty.
Go in peace.

cpl
When I think of what hannah and I could have done with all that money.

men
…In the ranks of death you will find him his father’s sword
he has girded on and his wild harp slung behind him