106-“Love of a Bad Woman”

Season 3, Episode 28 – Original Airdate: (March 26, 1960)

Director: Andrew V. McLaglen, Writers: Robert Dozier, Herb Meadow

GERALDINE BROOKS as Tamsen Sommers
LAWRENCE DOBKIN as Haskell Sommers
(Penelope, 1962) as Col. Oliver Lacey
(The Great Mojave Chase, 1957) as Billy-Joe Kane
EDWARD FAULKNER as Gunman
(Be Not Forgetful of Strangers, 1962) as Ben
(Memories of Monica, 1962) as Deputy Ed Buhl
(The Hunt, 1962) as Lieutenant Brager
(The Brothers, 1961) as Body Guard #1
(The Hanging of Aaron Gibbs, 1961) as Jim Harden
(Soledad Crossing, 1961) as Bud McPhater
(The Puppeteer, 1960) as Cavalry Sergeant
(Black Sheep, 1960) as Marshal
(The Black Handkerchief, 1959) as Dink
(Incident at Borrasca Bend, 1959) as Curly
(The Road to Wickenburg, 1958) as Jim Goodfellow
(The Hanging of Roy Carter, 1958) as 2nd Guard
HARRY LANDERS as 1st Cowboy
(The Yuma Treasure, 1957) as Lt. Harvey
STAR TREK: TOS (Turnabout Intruder, 1969) as Dr. Coleman
FRANZ ROEHN as Paladin’s Chess Opponent
LILLIAN ADAMS as Servant
BOB HOPKINS as 1st Dandy
(Unforgiven, 1959) as Bartender
(Les Girls, 1959) as Lyman
(The Wager, 1959) as Bartender
SHERWOOD KEITH as 2nd Dandy
EDWIN MILLS as 3rd Dandy
MITCHELL KOWALL as 2nd Cowboy
(The Hanging Cross, 1957) as Jesse

INT. HOTEL CARLTON LOBBY – DAY

PALADIN’S CHESS OPPONENT
I’ve got you now, Paladin. It’s checkmate in two moves.

PALADIN
In two moves for you. One move for me. Mate. Those complicated defenses do have their pitfalls. Don’t they, Professor? Excuse me.

HEY BOY
Mr. Paladin.

PALADIN
Thank you. You wish to see me?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Paladin?

PALADIN
That’s correct.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Sit down.

PALADIN
What do you want?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Want you to read that.

PALADIN
I’ve already read the paper, Mr…

HASKELL SOMMERS
Sommers. Haskell Sommers.

PALADIN
Mr. Sommers, did you want to discuss current events?

HASKELL SOMMERS
No. Just read this advertisement in the personals column.

PALADIN
“Young, attractive widow of means. Lonely, desires company of young, attractive gentleman. Matrimony. Please apply in person. Diamond S Ranch, Yerba Verde, California.” I’d say that young lady could’ve been a little more selective. She’s liable to have a stampede out there.

HASKELL SOMMERS
You answer that ad, Paladin.

PALADIN
No. My object is not matrimony.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I don’t want you to marry her. Just answer the ad.

PALADIN
The young lady says she’s looking for a husband.

HASKELL SOMMERS
She’s already got a husband.

PALADIN
She says she’s a widow.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Paladin, the Diamond S is my ranch. The young lady’s my wife.

EXT. ON THE TRAIL -DAY

1st DANDY
What might be your business, sir?

PALADIN
Well, my business might be answering an ad.

2nd DANDY
Well, join the club.

PALADIN
All of you?

1st DANDY
Mm-hmm.

2nd DANDY
Well, don’t worry. We’ll narrow down the field before long.

PALADIN
Well, wouldn’t that be the lady’s prerogative?

COWBOY
It might be.

PALADIN
Then, on the other hand, she might need some help.

COWBOY
Where do you think you’re goin’?

PALADIN
Well, I think I oughta get my name on the list.

COWBOY
You take your place in line like everyone else.

COWBOY
Uh, you’re not leavin’, are ya?

GENTLEMAN
Just as fast as I can.

SERVANT – PARLOURMAID
Señor, por favor.

2ND COWBOY
Well, men, there goes another boy. Looks like it’s just gonna be the five of us.

SERVANT – PARLOURMAID
Señor, por favor.

PALADIN
Gracias.

SERVANT – PARLOURMAID
Espere aquí.

PALADIN
Mucho gusto.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Do you like her?

PALADIN
Very much.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
The Venus.

PALADIN
Oh, yes. The Venus. Hmm. Venus de Milo. 3rd or 4th century, B.C. Golden age of Greece. It’s a very decent copy. I’ve seen the original in the Louvre.
A present from Louis XVIII to the people.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
You don’t look like the sort of man who’d be interested in art.

PALADIN
And you don’t look like the kind of woman who would be advertising for a husband.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
That gives us a great deal in common, doesn’t it?
Neither of us is what the other expected. Mr…

PALADIN
Paladin. Your husband is quite a collector.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
He was. He collected money, land, cattle, art, and people.

PALADIN
He collected people?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Hmm. I was one of the prize objects of his collection.

PALADIN
Well, you would be a prize object in any collection.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Very nicely turned, Mr. Paladin.

PALADIN
Thank you.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Only I don’t want to be an object in anyone’s collection. I’m more attractive than money…
And warmer than art.

PALADIN
And a collector like your husband.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
What do you mean?

PALADIN
Well, you’re collecting husbands.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I’ve been kept here like a statue For a long time, Mr. Paladin. I’ve never known any other men. My husband’s never allowed me to. And I’m afraid of him. But I need to be wanted, Paladin. I am not a statue. And I’ve learned one thing from my husband. What I want… I can buy.

PALADIN
How will you make your selection?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Let’s just say a process of elimination.

PALADIN
That’s not very flattering to a man to be involved in a contest like that.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Even if the prize is worth it?

PALADIN
When did your husband die?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Oh, he didn’t. Not yet.

PALADIN
Well, don’t you think all this is just a little bit premature?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Oh, I believe in being prepared.

PALADIN
For your husband’s death?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Let’s say for my new life.

PALADIN
Well, what if your husband doesn’t comply with your wishes?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Oh, he’s an old man, Mr. Paladin. Look. There’s his picture. He’s in San Francisco now, but he’ll be back next week. It’s a long, hard road back from San Francisco. Younger men than my husband have died on that trail.

PALADIN
Well, if you want your husband killed, why don’t you just kill him?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I’m afraid of him. He’s tough. He’s tough and cunning. And very dangerous.

PALADIN
Well, you’ve picked five men.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Six.

PALADIN
When your husband is dead, What are you gonna do when all six of us show up back here?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I don’t expect all of you to show up.

PALADIN
Well, do you have a preference?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Now, what would make you think that I’d have any preference?

INT. HOTEL CARLTON – PALADIN’S HOTEL SUITE – EVENING

HASKELL SOMMERS
My wife wants me dead. Doesn’t count for much, does it? Affection. Position. I’ve been something of a disappointment to my wife. I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint her again.

PALADIN
What do you plan to do?

HASKELL SOMMERS
I’m going back to Yerba Verde, and I’m going to teach that young lady a lesson that she won’t forget.

PALADIN
Just how do you plan on getting back to Yerba Verde alive?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Ride back.

PALADIN
By what route?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Same route I always take. The shortest, straightest, fastest way to get there.

PALADIN
Unfortunately, in this case, that is not true. There’ll be five men waiting along that trail.
Waiting to shoot you down the first sight they catch of you.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I’ll have protection.

PALADIN
Now, those odds are 5-1. I hope you’re not overestimating yourself.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I won’t be alone.

PALADIN
Oh? Who’s going with you?

HASKELL SOMMERS
You are, Mr. Paladin.

PALADIN
Well, you’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?

HASKELL SOMMERS
It’s an acquired habit. Not too many people have given me reason not to be.

PALADIN
Well, there is a first time.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I suppose there’s a thousand dollars there. You ought to take that. That’s yours. There’ll be another thousand dollars When you deliver me back to my ranch. An acquired habit.

PALADIN
Possibly. At any rate, I don’t like the 5-1 odds.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Well, you’re the great equalizer.

PALADIN
There’s one thing, Mr. Sommers. If I ride with you, we’ll go by the route I choose.
You may not be concerned about my collecting that other thousand, But I am.

HASKELL SOMMERS
We’ll go by the route I choose.

PALADIN
You wanna die that badly?

HASKELL SOMMERS
I’m not gonna be safe, Paladin, until those five men- My wife’s hired assassins- are out of the way for good. We’re not the hunted, Paladin. We’re the hunters. One more thing. The other reason I want you along with me. You’ve seen my ranch, and you’ve seen my wife. She made, what I gather, is a fairly attractive offer In that advertisement. I want you where I can keep an eye on you. To your health.

EXT. ON THE TRAIL – DAY

[Paladin sees a flashing signal]

HASKELL SOMMERS
What is it?

[Gunshots]

PALADIN
There’s two of ’em.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Where are they?

PALADIN
They’re up there someplace. Watch it.

COWBOY
Hold it right there, Paladin. That Sommers?

PALADIN
It seems to me that question was in order a little bit earlier.

COWBOY
Are you workin’ for him?

PALADIN
I was.

COWBOY
I don’t think his widow’s gonna like that.

[Sommers plays dead but suddenly gets up and shoots the cowboy]

HASKELL SOMMERS
Well, what’s the matter with you?

PALADIN
I’m just wondering…

HASKELL SOMMERS
About what?

PALADIN
Well, what do you need with me?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Still got three more to get.

PALADIN
You took a terrible chance pulling a stunt like that.

HASKELL SOMMERS
When you’re a young man, you can afford to take chances.
You get to be my age, you gotta take ’em.

PALADIN
They could’ve shot you a couple more times just to make sure.

HASKELL SOMMERS
They didn’t. Even had you pretty well fooled, didn’t I?

PALADIN
You did.

HASKELL SOMMERS
And you almost spoiled everything trying to drag me behind that rock.

PALADIN
I beg your pardon. I was trying to save your life.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Well, maybe. Maybe you did at that.

PALADIN
You’re welcome, Mr. Sommers. Well, what do you think you’re doing?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Lightin’ a fire.

PALADIN
You might as well put up a big sign, while your at it.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I intend to.

PALADIN
Well, I don’t.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Give me your gun, Paladin.

PALADIN
Now, what is this?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Give it to me. Now, go sit on that log over there. Go on.

PALADIN
Mr. Sommers…

HASKELL SOMMERS
You’re gonna be my sign.

PALADIN
Well, I’m also gonna be a very good target.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Aw, they ain’t gonna kill you. not till after I’m dead anyways. They think you’re one of them. They gonna see this fire, come in to investigate it, Find out it’s only just you, and sit down to talk a spell. Me? I’m gonna be out there in the dark.

1ST DANDY
Paladin? Is that you?

PALADIN
That’s right, it’s me.

2ND DANDY
We thought you might be Sommers.

PALADIN
Sommers, hmm? Sommers. Yeah.

2ND DANDY
What are you doin’?

PALADIN
Well, Sommers is out there…someplace.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I reckon that’d be just about enough for tonight.

PALADIN
Well, you certainly don’t believe In giving a man much of a chance, do you?

HASKELL SOMMERS
About the same chance they’d have give me. Now, paladin, your day’s work’s not quite ended. Soon as you dispose of these, uh, gentlemen- Since you were hired to protect me-You can give me some protection whilst I sleep.

PALADIN
I’m beginning to see what your wife meant about you.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Forget about my wife.

PALADIN
Mr. Sommers, your wife is not a very easy woman to forget.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I worked hard all my life to surround myself with beauty. You bein’ an attractive man, paladin, I don’t expect you to appreciate that. With me, it’s a different case. I can appreciate beauty And had a wealth of beauty in my home. Furniture, paintings, statues.

PALADIN
And your wife.

HASKELL SOMMERS
And my wife. I don’t look to part with any of it.

EXT. AT THE DIAMOND S RANCH – DUSK

PALADIN
Far as I go.

HASKELL SOMMERS
It’s four down, one to go. I want that fifth man dead, paladin.

2ND COWBOY
All right. Hold it, right there. And I got business with you, too.

PALADIN
All right, Sommers, you can get up now. I can guarantee you that wouldn’t have worked this time.

[Sommers rolls over and up and aims his gun at Paladin]

PALADIN
Put the gun away, Sommers. They’re all dead.

HASKELL SOMMERS
All but one, Paladin. Give me your gun.

PALADIN
How poetic. You gonna kill me with my own gun.

HASKELL SOMMERS
No. I’m gonna kill you where my wife can watch it happen. It’s part of the little lesson I’m gonna teach her. Give it here.

[Paladin kills Mr. Sommers using the stagecoach roll trick with his gun]

HASKELL SOMMERS

I was right about you, Paladin. I was right about you all along, wasn’t I? You…

INT. HASKELL MANSION – SITTING ROOM – DAY

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Paladin?

PALADIN
I want $1,000. I’ve come for my fee.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I don’t understand.

PALADIN
Your husband hired me to bring him back here to this ranch. He’s outside, And I expect his estate to make good on his debts.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Don’t you expect me to make good on mine?

PALADIN
You don’t owe me…Anything.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
You killed him, didn’t you? There’s a lot more to his estate than $1,000.

PALADIN
Aside from my fee…I don’t want anything that belongs to Haskell Sommers.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I’ll get you the money.

[She comes back with the money]

PALADIN
Thank you.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
You’re a fool, Paladin.

PALADIN
Probably. At any rate, that will give me something to think about on my way back to San Francisco.

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