106-“Love of a Bad Woman”

Have Gun – Will Travel: Season 3, Episode 28

Love of a Bad Woman (26 Mar. 1960)

Paladin drops his current seduction, to instead kill a husband and marry the rich widow. That’s his cover for the assignment from husband Haskel.

Director: Andrew V. McLaglen, Writers: Robert Dozier, Herb Meadow

GERALDINE BROOKS … Tamsen Sommers, LAWRENCE DOBKIN … Haskell Sommers, EDWARD FAULKNER … Gunman, HARRY LANDERS … 1st Cowboy, FRANZ ROEHN … Paladin’s Chess Opponent, LILLIAN ADAMS … Servant, Bob Hopkins … 1st Dandy, Sherwood Keith … 2nd Dandy, Edwin Mills … 3rd Dandy, MITCHELL KOWALL … 2nd Cowboy

Paladin drops his current seduction, to instead kill a husband and marry the rich widow. That’s his cover for the assignment from husband Haskel, who reads a chilling message between the lines in his drop-dead wife’s personals ad: she’s had it with being a trophy. She wants Haskel’s head over the mantle now. When Paladin arrives at the couple’s ranch, there’s a long line of willing applicants already.

PALADIN’S CHESS OPPONENT
I’ve got you now, paladin. It’s checkmate in two moves.

PALADIN
In two moves for you. One move for me. Mate. Those complicated defenses do have their pitfalls. Don’t they, professor? Excuse me.

HEY BOY
Mr. Paladin.

PALADIN
Thank you. You wish to see me?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Paladin?

PALADIN
That’s correct.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Sit down.

PALADIN
What do you want?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Want you to read that.

PALADIN
I’ve already read the paper, Mr…

HASKELL SOMMERS
Sommers. Haskell Sommers.

PALADIN
Mr. Sommers, did you want to discuss current events?

HASKELL SOMMERS
No. Just read this advertisement in the personals column.

PALADIN
“young, attractive widow of means. lonely, desires company of young, attractive gentleman. Matrimony. Please apply in person. Diamond s ranch, yerba verde, california.” I’d say that young lady could’ve been a little more selective. She’s liable to have a stampede out there.

HASKELL SOMMERS
You answer that ad, paladin.

PALADIN
No. My object
is not matrimony.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I don’t want you to marry her.
Just answer the ad.

PALADIN
The young lady says
she’s looking for a husband.

HASKELL SOMMERS
She’s already got a husband.

PALADIN
She says she’s a widow.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Paladin, the Diamond S is my ranch. The young lady’s my wife.

EXT. ON THE TRAIL -DAY

COWBOY
What might be your business, sir?

PALADIN
Well, my business might be answering an ad.

COWBOY
Well, join the club.

PALADIN
All of you?

COWBOY
Mm-hmm.

2ND COWBOY
Well, don’t worry. We’ll narrow down the field before long.

PALADIN
Well, wouldn’t that be the lady’s prerogative?

COWBOY
It might be.

PALADIN
Then, on the other hand, she might need some help.

COWBOY
Where do you think you’re goin’?

PALADIN
Well, I think I oughta get my name on the list.

COWBOY
You take your place in line like everyone else.

COWBOY
Uh, you’re not leavin’, are ya?

GENTLEMAN
Just as fast as I can.

PARLORMAID
Señor, por favor.

2ND COWBOY
Well, men, there goes another boy. Looks like it’s just gonna be the five of us.

PARLORMAID
Señor, por favor.

PALADIN
Gracias.

PARLORMAID
Espere aquí.

PALADIN
Mucho gusto.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Do you like her?

PALADIN
Very much.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
The Venus.

PALADIN
Oh, yes. The Venus. Hmm. Venus de milo. 3rd or 4th century, b.C. Golden age of greece. It’s a very decent copy. I’ve seen the original in the Louvre.
A present from Louis xviii
to the people.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
You don’t look like the sort of man who’d be interested in art.

PALADIN
And you don’t look
like the kind of woman
Who would be advertising for a husband.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
That gives us a great deal
in common, doesn’t it?

65
00:06:13,172 –> 00:06:16,740
Neither of us is
what the other expected.

66
00:06:16,808 –> 00:06:18,776
Mr…

PALADIN
Paladin.
Your husband is quite a collector.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
He was. He collected money, land, cattle, art, and people.

PALADIN
He collected people?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Hmm. I was one of the prize objects of his collection.

PALADIN
Well, you would be a prize object In any collection.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Very nicely turned,
mr. Paladin.

PALADIN
Thank you.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Only I don’t want to be an object in anyone’s collection. I’m more attractive than money…
And warmer than art.

PALADIN
And a collector like your husband.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
What do you mean?

PALADIN
Well, you’re
collecting husbands.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I’ve been kept here
like a statue
For a long time, mr. Paladin.
I’ve never known
any other men.
My husband’s
never allowed me to.
And I’m afraid of him.
But I need to be wanted,
paladin. I am not a statue.
And I’ve learned one thing
from my husband.
What I want… I can buy.

PALADIN
How will you make your selection?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Let’s just say
a process of elimination.

PALADIN
That’s not very flattering to a man
To be involved in
a contest like that.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Even if the prize is worth it?

PALADIN
When did your husband die?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Oh, he didn’t. Not yet.

PALADIN
Well, don’t you think all this
is just a little bit premature?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Oh, I believe
in being prepared.

PALADIN
For your husband’s death?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Let’s say for my new life.

PALADIN
Well, what if your husband
doesn’t comply with your wishes?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Oh, he’s an old man, mr. Paladin.
Look. There’s his picture.
He’s in san francisco now,
but he’ll be back next week.
It’s a long, hard road
back from san francisco.
Younger men than my husband
have died on that trail.

PALADIN
Well, if you want your husband killed, Why don’t you just kill him?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I’m afraid of him. He’s tough. He’s tough and cunning…And very dangerous.

PALADIN
Well, you’ve picked five men.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Six.

PALADIN
When your husband is dead,
What are you gonna do
when all six of us show up back here?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I don’t expect
all of you to show up.

PALADIN
Well, do you have a preference?

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Now, what would make you think
that I’d have any preference?

INT. CARLE

HASKELL SOMMERS
My wife wants me dead. Doesn’t count for much, does it? Affection. Position. I’ve been something of a disappointment to my wife. I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint her again.

PALADIN
What do you plan to do?

HASKELL SOMMERS
I’m going back to Yerba Verde, and I’m going to teach that young lady a lesson That she won’t forget.

PALADIN
Just how do you plan on getting back to Yerba Verde alive?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Ride back.

PALADIN
By what route?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Same route I always take.

133
00:10:48,013 –> 00:10:50,715
The shortest, straightest,
fastest way to get there.

PALADIN
Unfortunately, in this
case, that is not true.
There’ll be five men
waiting along that trail.
Waiting to shoot you down the
first sight they catch of you.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I’ll have protection.

PALADIN
Now, those odds are 5-1.
I hope you’re not
overestimating yourself.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I won’t be alone.

PALADIN
Oh? Who’s going with you?

HASKELL SOMMERS
You are, mr. Paladin.

PALADIN
Well, you’re very sure
of yourself, aren’t you?

HASKELL SOMMERS
It’s an acquired habit. Not too many people have given me reason not to be.

PALADIN
Well, there is a first time.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I suppose there’s a thousand dollars there. You ought to take that. That’s yours. There’ll be another thousand dollars When you deliver me back to my ranch. An acquired habit.

PALADIN
Possibly. At any rate, I don’t like the 5-1 odds.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Well, you’re the great equalizer.

PALADIN
There’s one thing, mr. Sommers.
If I ride with you,
we’ll go by the route I choose.
You may not be concerned about
my collecting that other thousand,
But I am.

HASKELL SOMMERS
We’ll go by the route I choose.

PALADIN
You wanna die that badly?

HASKELL SOMMERS
I’m not gonna be safe, paladin, until those five men- My wife’s hired assassins- are out of the way for good. We’re not the hunted, paladin. We’re the hunters. One more thing. The other reason I want you along with me. You’ve seen my ranch, and you’ve seen my wife. She made, what I gather, is a fairly attractive offer In that advertisement. I want you where I can keep an eye on you. to your health.

EXT. ON THE TRAIL -DAY

HASKELL SOMMERS
What is it?

PALADIN
There’s two of ’em.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Where are they?

PALADIN
They’re up there someplace. Watch it.

177
00:14:25,363 –> 00:14:27,797
Hold it right there, paladin. That sommers?

PALADIN
It seems to me that question was in order a little bit earlier.

180
00:14:45,249 –> 00:14:46,784
Are you workin’ for him?

PALADIN
I was.

182
00:14:48,987 –> 00:14:52,089
I don’t think his widow’s gonna like that.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Well, what’s the matter with you?

PALADIN
I’m just wondering…

HASKELL SOMMERS
About what?

PALADIN

Well, what do you need with me?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Still got
three more to get.

PALADIN
You took a terrible chance
pulling a stunt like that.

HASKELL SOMMERS
When you’re a young man,
you can afford to take chances.

189
00:15:36,401 –> 00:15:39,136
You get to be my age,
you gotta take ’em.

PALADIN
They could’ve shot you a couple
more times just to make sure.

HASKELL SOMMERS
They didn’t.

192
00:15:44,259 –> 00:15:46,810
Even had you pretty
well fooled, didn’t I?

PALADIN
You did.

HASKELL SOMMERS
And you almost
spoiled everything

195
00:15:49,480 –> 00:15:51,749
Trying to drag me
behind that rock.

PALADIN
I beg your pardon. I was trying to save your life.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Well, maybe. Maybe you did at that.

PALADIN
You’re welcome, mr. Sommers.

Well, what do you think you’re doing?

HASKELL SOMMERS

Lightin’ a fire.

PALADIN
You might as well put up a big sign, while your at it.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I intend to.

PALADIN
Well, I don’t.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Give me your gun, Paladin.

PALADIN
Now, what is this?

HASKELL SOMMERS
Give it to me. Now, go sit on that log over there. Go on.

PALADIN
Mr. Sommers…

HASKELL SOMMERS
You’re gonna be my sign.

PALADIN
Well, I’m also gonna be a very good target.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Aw, they ain’t gonna kill you. not till after I’m dead anyways. They think you’re one of them. They gonna see this fire, come in to investigate it, Find out it’s only just you, and sit down to talk a spell. Me? I’m gonna be out there in the dark.

1ST DANDY
Paladin? Is that you?

PALADIN
That’s right, it’s me.

2ND DANDY

We thought you might be Sommers.

PALADIN
Sommers, hmm? Sommers. Yeah.

2ND DANDY
What are you doin’?

PALADIN
Well, Sommers is out there…someplace.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I reckon that’d be just about enough for tonight.

PALADIN
Well, you certainly don’t believe In giving a man much of a chance, do you?

HASKELL SOMMERS
About the same chance they’d have give me. Now, paladin, your day’s work’s not quite ended. Soon as you dispose of these, uh, gentlemen- Since you were hired to protect me-You can give me some protection whilst I sleep.

PALADIN
I’m beginning to see what your wife meant about you.

HASKELL SOMMERS
Forget about my wife.

PALADIN
Mr. Sommers, your wife is not a very easy woman to forget.

HASKELL SOMMERS
I worked hard all my life to surround myself with beauty. You bein’ an attractive man, paladin, I don’t expect you to appreciate that. With me, it’s a different case. I can appreciate beauty And had a wealth of beauty in my home. Furniture, paintings, statues.

PALADIN
And your wife.

HASKELL SOMMERS
And my wife. I don’t look to part with any of it.

EXT. AT THE DIAMOND S RANCH – DUSK

PALADIN
Far as I go.

HASKELL SOMMERS
It’s four down, one to go. I want that fifth man dead, paladin.

2ND COWBOY
All right. Hold it, right there. And I got business with you, too.

PALADIN
All right, Sommers, you can get up now. I can guarantee you that wouldn’t have worked this time.

PALADIN
Put the gun away, Sommers. They’re all dead.

HASKELL SOMMERS
All but one, paladin. Give me your gun.

PALADIN
How poetic. You gonna kill me with my own gun.

HASKELL SOMMERS

No. I’m gonna kill you where my wife can watch it happen. It’s part of the little
lesson I’m gonna teach her. Give it here.

I was right about you, paladin.

I was right about you all along, wasn’t I?
You…

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Paladin?

PALADIN
I want $1,000. I’ve come for my fee.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I don’t understand.

PALADIN
Your husband hired me to bring him back here to this ranch. He’s outside, And I expect his estate to make good on his debts.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
Don’t you expect me to make good on mine?

PALADIN
You don’t owe me…Anything.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
You killed him, didn’t you? There’s a lot more to his estate than $1,000.

PALADIN
Aside from my fee…I don’t want anything that belongs to Haskell Sommers.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
I’ll get you the money.

PALADIN
Thank you.

TAMSEN SOMMERS
You’re a fool, paladin.

PALADIN
Probably. At any rate, that will give me something to think about On my way back to san francisco.

Advertisements