80 “Episode in Laredo”

Director: Buzz Kulik, Writers: Gene Roddenberry, Herb Meadow (creator)

GENE LYONS as Sam Tuttle, NORMA CRANE as Eileen Tuttle
J. PAT O’MALLEY as Logan, ALAN DEXTER as Sid Kovac
JOHNNY EIMEN as Sam Tuttle, Jr. (as John Eimen)

Do you kill for profit, Mr. Tuttle, or pleasure, Or your reputation?
If that’s where your vanity hides, Draw that gun.

EXT. TOWN STORMY RAINY – NIGHT

THE “EUPHORIA HOTEL”

PALADIN
You gentlemen tell me where I’ll find the room clerk?

LOGAN
We’re all filled up, mister. Another hotel down the road a piece.

PALADIN
The next hotel’s a 57-mile ride, assuming I can get across two flooded arroyos.

Ah!

SID KOVAC
Throw him out.
Ah.

SID KOVAC
Before you did that, cowboy, you should’ve asked my name.
It’s Kovac.

PALADIN
Who?

SID KOVAC

Kovac. Syd kovac.

PALADIN
Kovac? Kovac?
Yeah, you’re some sort of a minor gunman, huh?

SID KOVAC
Minor?

PALADIN
I find it good business to study gunfighters.

PALADIN
For instance, Mr. Kovac, I know this about you:
If I hesitated for one instant. If I took one step backward, you’d draw.
So I’m gonna give you some advice. Some advice that may save your life.
If you ever have to face a vicious crowd, Or a bully…!
You hesitate, you get into trouble. Stop. This way, you can avoid trouble.

SID KOVAC
Stop, stop! It ain’t me that’s keeping you from a room.
This place has been reserved for someone.

PALADIN
Who? What’s his name? I’d like to meet him.

LOGAN
He works for Tuttle. Sam Tuttle.

SID KOVAC
You say you know all about guns, Mister.
It happens I work for the biggest gun of them all, and he’s on his way here.

PALADIN
What time’s he get here?

SID KOVAC
That kind of worries you, don’t it? If I was to tell him…

PALADIN
Kovac, I thought I taught you some manners.
Now, I asked you
a civil question.

SID KOVAC
Look, you ain’t laying for him, are you?

PALADIN
What time does he get here?

SID KOVAC
About nine in the morning. Look, he gave me orders…

PALADIN
I’ve got to catch a stage for San Antonio. I’ll be out of here by 8:00.

SID KOVAC
Well, ain’t no use in us fighting. I mean, as long as you leave early.
Logan, give him a room!

PALADIN
I hope you have nothing foolish in your mind.

LOGAN
Upstairs. First door on your right.

PALADIN
My horse?

SID KOVAC
I’ll be glad to take him to the stable for you.
Make up for all the trouble, you know?

PALADIN
Thanks.

EXT.

SAM TUTTLE
That’s my table, sir. The name is Tuttle.

PALADIN
Paladin. You arrived early.

SAM TUTTLE
Mr. Logan was kind enough to send word about Kovac.
Look, I don’t blame you for killing Kovac.
I’ve been tempted a few times myself.
But why in the name of Joseph didn’t you leave town last night?

PALADIN
Why? I did everything I could to discourage Kovac.

SAM TUTTLE
Don’t you understand? Doesn’t matter what happened, it’s done.
Now, whether I want to or not, I’ll have to kill you. On this day, of all days.
Three long years since I’ve been able to get back, and now-
Blast that slimy little man. You know why he was so anxious for me to come back here?
“step right up, folks. Sam Tuttle’s 30 second gun fight. Right on this spot! Stand up to the bar and buy drinks, folks, and see the actual blood stains.”

PALADIN
Well, I suggest you disappoint him.

SAM TUTTLE
You suggest that I-? Do you actually think you can beat me?
Do you have some crazy idea about trying to outshoot me? Is that it?

PALADIN
No. No, I won’t be able to beat you. But I’m fast enough to hurry your shot.
And I promise you, if your aim’s a quarter of an inch off,

my reflexes’ll kill you as I go down.

SAM TUTTLE
I believe you. Does that change anything?

PALADIN
It does unless you’re a fool.

SAM TUTTLE
You come over here and take a look. Then you show me a way out, if you can.
Call me anything you like. But take a good close look at them.
A bunch of latter-day savages. Waiting for the body to be carried out.
If I let you ride out of here, they’d say I was afraid, or that my eyes, or my hand,
or something had gone bad. Then every saddle tramp in the state would start wondering.
Let one man go and I have to fight ten. I wish I could live another hundred years.
I think they’ll all wipe themselves out. And I’d like to be there laughing when it happens.
Well, that’s one way out. For both of us, go ahead, pull the trigger.

PALADIN
I was thinking about using the butt on you.

SAM TUTTLE
Then I’d have to follow you.
And I don’t think you’re the kind who can spend the rest of his life hiding,
Any more than you could shoot a man in the back.

PALADIN
Thank you.

SAM TUTTLE
I, I know this may sound sort of crazy, I mean, to a man I have to kill,
But, I wonder if we could just sort of sit down and talk for a spell?
You know, like nothing was gonna happen?

PALADIN
Let’s have breakfast.

LOGAN
It ain’t cold, Mr. Tuttle, But if you say you want champagne, then here it is.

SAM TUTTLE
Ah, Logan? The people in this town. What do you think of ’em?

LOGAN
Oh, they’re nice people. Nicest little town in the state, Mr. Tuttle.

SAM TUTTLE
A nice town. You saw them. Don’t trust any mother’s child out there.
And, uh, what do you think of Paladin here?

LOGAN
Mr. Paladin?
Well, uh…Ah, you mean, you and him, sir?

SAM TUTTLE
It’s alright, you can speak your mind.
I’m gonna kill him when we’re through here.

LOGAN
Well…
I think you ought to be more careful, Mr. Tuttle.

SAM TUTTLE
You mean, he might
jump me unexpectedly?
He’s the sneaky sort,
is that it?

LOGAN
Now that you come to mention it…

134
00:10:39,172 –> 00:10:40,604
Yeah.

SAM TUTTLE
I knew I could trust you like a brother.
And, uh, myself, Logan?
Tell us about me.

LOGAN
Well, sir, uh…I’ve always said you were a gentleman. A fine gentleman.

SAM TUTTLE
Which means I’m a killer.
I’ve killed 31 men, Paladin, I’m not fit to-
Get out of here, will you?

LOGAN
Yes, sir.

SAM TUTTLE
Will you get out, or I’ll-! Ha, or I’ll kill you.
That’s the only way I can think anymore, paladin.

PALADIN
Sam, the thing that ruins most banquets, is the speeches.

SAM TUTTLE
Trouble is, murderers, like me, don’t usually get a chance to make one.

PALADIN
Well, I’ll admit there’s a local unfairness there.
On the international scene, killings and speeches are practically inseparable.

SAM TUTTLE
It’s no good.

PALADIN
The best Havana money can buy.

SAM TUTTLE
You know what I mean. The more we talk, the harder it gets.

PALADIN
Sam…I may know a way.

SAM TUTTLE
Don’t beg, Paladin. I have too much respect for you to hear you beg.

PALADIN
Any time you’re ready.

SAM TUTTLE
Go ahead.

PALADIN
Make your move.
I’ll protect myself.

SAM TUTTLE
I can’t wait you out.

PALADIN
I have important business to take care of this morning.

PALADIN
Draw the gun. You’re wasting my time, too.

EILEEN TUTTLE
I won’t have time to come again.

SAM TUTTLE
Oh, it’s alright. We’re just standing here, talking.

EILEEN TUTTLE
Come in, dear. You can have that sarsaparilla mother promised.

B
It ain’t Sunday, is it?

SAM TUTTLE
No, it ain’t Sunday, it’s uh…
It’s Saturday, isn’t it?

PALADIN
Yeah.

B
Then how come it’s so empty here? You two ain’t gun fighting, are you?

SAM TUTTLE
Oh, no.
Maybe it’s a gun fight.

SAM TUTTLE
No, I wouldn’t fight with my friend here.
Logan! Logan, get your, uh, get yourself behind the bar.
We’ve got a paying customer here.

EILEEN TUTTLE
Ah, not too much syrup, mr. Logan.
He has a bad enough sweet-tooth as it is.

LOGAN
We know just how to fix it, don’t we, son?

SAM TUTTLE
Mrs. Smith, I’d like you to meet my friend, paladin.

PALADIN
How do you do?

EILEEN TUTTLE
You have one hour.

PALADIN
Mrs. Smith? Would you like to sit down?

SAM TUTTLE
Mind if I join you, partner? Oh.
Seeing as how I invited myself in,
Why, I guess maybe I should pay for the freight.
How’s that?

B
Guess how old
I am today?

SAM TUTTLE
Oh, you have a birthday,
huh?
Well, what do you know?
Big and good-looking.
Logan, ain’t he good-looking?

LOGAN
Yes, sir. Best looking boy in town. There you are, son.

B
I’m nine today.

SAM TUTTLE
Nine? Well, by jonah.
Just so happens,
I ran across a friend of mine,
Sort of a gypsy
fortune teller,
And he, uh…
Said I’d run into
somebody who had a birthday.
And I was supposed to
give him this.

B
Twenty dollar
gold piece!
Hey, mom, I just got
twenty dollars, from a gypsy!

EILEEN TUTTLE
That’s nice, son.

SAM TUTTLE
Just one thing, he asked
for you to do.
He wants you to sit down
with me and just…
Tell me all about yourself.

B
Then you’ll tell him.
He must like me, huh?

SAM TUTTLE
Oh. Oh, he-
He thinks quite a bit of you.
It’s just that, he can’t, uh…
Well, you know, just sort of what…
What you do with yourself all day,
And what kind of games you play, and…
Just everything. You know, just, everything.

PALADIN
You might find a glass of sherry helpful, Mrs. Tuttle.

EILEEN TUTTLE
Perhaps you’re right,
Mr. Paladin.

L
Ten o’clock, ma’am. You said something about one hour.

EILEEN TUTTLE
Ah, yes, I did, didn’t I? Thank you.

SAM TUTTLE
Yes, yes.
We can always depend on logan.
Remind me to thank you, mr. Logan.
Well, we had our talk,
anyway.
Nice one, wasn’t it?

B
Yes, sir.

EILEEN TUTTLE
Now, you go out and wait in the buggy, son.
I want to have a talk with your friend.

SAM TUTTLE
Sam.
Goodbye.

B
Mister, thank the gypsy
for me, huh?

P
We’ve had a talk about you, sam.

SAM TUTTLE
No one asked you to
butt into this.

EILEEN TUTTLE
I did. It’s the boy. I guess you noticed, he’s no fool.
He’ll find out who you are this time.

SAM TUTTLE
No, he won’t, I promise you.

EILEEN TUTTLE

Oh, I know.
You’ll kill every man in this town who talks, won’t you?
Well, that won’t stop them.
And if you think any different,
You’re a bigger fool than I thought you were.

PALADIN
I’ve advised mrs. Tuttle to
go on to san francisco,
Without leaving
a forwarding address…

SAM TUTTLE
I told you to stay out of it!

PALADIN
I didn’t ask to be
brought into this.
But I’m in just about as far
as a man can get.
Or had you forgotten that?

SAM TUTTLE
If you don’t leave any forwarding address,
How will I know where to send you money?

EILEEN TUTTLE
How much longer could you,
anyway?
When a man gets as big
as you, sam,
His years shorten.
I’ll find a man.

SAM TUTTLE
What kind of a man?

EILEEN TUTTLE
I’ll take whatever I can find, On whatever terms
I can make.
I should have done it a long time ago when I had more to bargain with.

SAM TUTTLE
This don’t sound
like you, Eileen.

PALADIN
Of course, you could
go with her, Sam.

EILEEN TUTTLE
I didn’t want you to say that!
I don’t want him!

PALADIN
It’s just about time you stopped lying to yourself, too.
I’ve seen you with your eyes on him since the moment you walked into this room.
You’re a frightened, lonely woman, with more pride than common sense.
You’re perfectly willing to take a gamble on a complete stranger in san francisco,
But you’re not willing to take the same gamble With the man you love.

EILEEN TUTTLE
All right, sam. If you can do it.
If you can be part of the family again.
If you can really do it.

SAM TUTTLE
What would I do? A man’s got to make a living.

PALADIN
Does that matter? If you have to dig a ditch, does that matter?

SAM TUTTLE
It matters a lot! She don’t understand how a man is.
I’m, I’m important now. People stand back for me. They tip their hats!
It ain’t like it used to be. People point out to me as I walk down the street!
It’s funny, Funny how a town like this will pull the truth out.
Things a man never even admitted to himself.
I like being number one! I like being sam tuttle!
And there’s nothing, nothing I want bad enough to give that up.

EILEEN TUTTLE
Oh.

SAM TUTTLE
Now you both know.

EILEEN TUTTLE
I guess I’ll be
going now.

SAM TUTTLE
Hope you find a better man
next time.

EILEEN TUTTLE
I couldn’t do much worse,
could I?

SAM TUTTLE
If you were alive, Maybe you could sort of look after her in San Francisco?
Give her advice, maybe?

PALADIN
No bargains. I don’t buy my life that way, Sam.

SAM TUTTLE
Mr.- Mr. Tuttle.

PALADIN
Any way you want it. Mr. Tuttle.

SAM TUTTLE
Get out. I got this whole hotel reserved. Ain’t I?

LOGAN
You can’t let him go!

SAM TUTTLE
Shut up! Or you’ll be the dead one around here.

LOGAN SHOOTS TUTTLE IN THE BACK

LOGAN
You called me once too often, mister.
Can you still hear? Folks’ll ride for miles to see where you died.
And the last sound you’re gonna hear is this.

PALADIN
Logan!

PALADIN SHOOTS LOGAN

MEN
We been waiting out here. What happened?

PALADIN
The woman that came out, which way does she live?

MAN
One that calls herself mrs. Smith?
Down that way a little bit,
’bout a mile.
Little white house…

PALADIN
Thank you.

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