95-“Day of the Bad Man”

Season 3, Episode 17 – Original Airdate: (January 9, 1960)

C. Palmer sends for Paladin to clean up Cedar Wells – a place where folks lose at faro, lose their lives and the cattle she tries to sell there. With the help of Laredo Perkins, Paladin hatches an idea of how exactly he can earn his fee.

Director: Ida Lupino, Written by: Robert E. Thompson

WILLIAM JOYCE as Travis/Laredo Perkins
SUE RANDALL as Ruth – Schoolteacher
(Shot by Request, 1959) as Anna Ainslee
NORMAN SHELLY as Ezra Heath – Undertaker
ELEANOR AUDLEY as Cynthia Palmer
(Debutante, 1963) … Mrs. Randolph Quincy
(The Kid, 1961) … School Teacher
HARRY FLEER as Bart Reynolds – Sheriff
(The Misguided Father, 1960) as Logger
DON KELLY as Amos Saint
(The Teacher, 1958) as Coley
TONY HAIG as Theodore Thomas
(The Poker Fiend, 1960) as Sam – Restaurant Boy
KELLY THORDSEN as Ed
BARRY BROOKS as Agent
(The Trial, 1960) as Drummer
(A Sense of Justice, 1958) as Boak – Ranch Hand
OLLIE O’TOOLE as Cedar Wells Hotel Desk Clerk
(Hobson’s Choice, 1962) as Drunk
(The Kid, 1961) as Barber
(Odds for Big Red, 1961) as Corey
(Bearbait, 1961) as Telegraph Operator
HAL NEEDHAM as Gandy Dancer
JOE NORDEN as Mayor
PAMELA RAYMOND as Saloon Girl
(The Search, 1960) … Woman in Hotel Carlton Lobby
STEWART EAST as Townsman

Filming Locations: Jack Ingram Ranch – 22255 Mulholland Drive, Woodland Hills, Los Angeles,

You’ve had your big day, Laredo Perkins,
And now I’ll put you on that train back east.
But not for money. For humanitarian reasons.

EXT. ON THE TRAIL -DAY

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Hold it. Don’t try it, Mister. You’re covered.

PALADIN
Well, I’m waiting.

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Just ease yourself down, Mister. But mighty slow-like. Now over here. You keep them
hands up wide. Go right inside. Move!

CYNTHIA PALMER
Travis Perkins, you put that thing down right now! Do you hear me, Travis?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Laredo. Besides, what if he’s one of Amos Saint’s gang?

CYNTHIA PALMER
Oh, fiddle. Give me that gun! Laredo, huh? Your name is Travis. And it just might not be so amusin’ If you was the one who was saddled with ‘im.

PALADIN
I’m sure it wouldn’t.

CYNTHIA PALMER
If you knew what I had to put up with ever since he got here…
You just wait a minute and I’ll show you somethin’. Look at this.

PALADIN
The Brimstone Kid. That’s a good one.

CYNTHIA PALMER
Half the trunk he brought from Albany was filled with this. He’s my sister’s boy.
She had ‘im teachin’ school at a young ladies’ seminary. What are you lookin’ for?

PALADIN
Mr. C. Palmer.

CYNTHIA PALMER
It ain’t “Mister.” it’s me. Cynthia Palmer. Hey, you wouldn’t be the fella from San Francisco, would ya? Paladin?

PALADIN
Yes, ma’am.

CYNTHIA PALMER
Well, now, you took care of Laredo… Um, Travis real good.
But how you gonna make a whole town toe the mark?

PALADIN
That the job you want me for?

CYNTHIA PALMER
Yeah. Town is Cedar Wells where I ship my cattle. Last year, six of my men got cleaned at faro. Two more of ’em were killed by Amos Saint and his people. The foreman, while runnin’ away from a purple tiger he seen, made a turn into a horse trough, broke his leg, and near drowned. Sit down.

PALADIN
Thank you. Where was the Sheriff when all this was going on?

CYNTHIA PALMER
Oh, they’re so scared of Amos Saint and his people And so greedy for trail drive money.
They’ve run out every lawman ever set foot in that town.

PALADIN (Goofs his line…calls her Perkins instead of Palmer)
Miss Perkins, I don’t know. The idea of becoming Sheriff…

CYNTHIA PALMER
Oh, now, look. I got me a Sheriff already. Bart Reynolds. What I’m hirin’ you for is to go to Cedar Wells And see that he don’t get run out before my herd gets there. Oh, and… One other little thing. I want you to take Travis and board him on a train goin’ east.

PALADIN
Oh, now…

CYNTHIA PALMER
Now, don’t say no. I’m willin’ to up the ante. The thousand we agreed on and… And 200 more.

PALADIN (Goofed his lines again…calls her Perkins instead of Palmer)
Uh, Miss Perkins, if I take Travis along, It won’t be for the money. It’d be for humanitarian reasons. And the only condition on which I’ll take him is that…This…Doesn’t go along with us.

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
You know, Paladin, my Aunt’s right. I’m not man enough to do anything but go back and teach.

PALADIN
You really hate teaching?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Well, not exactly, but…I got a lot of theories on how things should be taught. For instance, take Homer or Shakespeare, battles and adventures, even ghosts. I teach it as if it were fun
instead of just with a ruler.

PALADIN
Why don’t you do it?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Oh, because I want something. Something else. I want just one day when… When people
Listen to me as though they believed I was somebody. Whatever happened, I’d never let go of that day. That’d make it last a lifetime.

PALADIN
Well, I suppose every man needs a day like that.
Well, let’s get on with it.

EXT. STAGE LINES – DAY

STAGE LINE HAND
You some of Amos Saint’s gang?

PALADIN
Well, hardly.

STAGE LINE HAND
You’re right or you’d have me shot dead by now. If you’re lookin’ for a stage, why…Might be next week, might be next year. Saint’s gang shot the line up. Ol’ Mr. Reynolds been waitin’ since yesterday.

PALADIN
Bart Reynolds? Sheriff Reynolds?

BART REYNOLDS – SHERIFF
You got business with me, Mister?

PALADIN
Well, I had been hired to see that the good citizens of cedar wells Didn’t ask you to resign. But I guess I’m a…Little late for the election.

BART REYNOLDS – SHERIFF
Miz Palmer, huh? You can tell her I’d rather go back to jail Than spend another day in Cedar Wells. What they need in that town is somebody so much worse Than the whole
miserable grub of ’em, They’ll wish they had ten sheriffs.

PALADIN
I could try that.

BART REYNOLDS – SHERIFF
They shoot to kill. You ready to shoot your way in? They gotta be scared, mister.

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
What’s wrong?

PALADIN
You know, back at that ranch when you held a gun on me, I believed it.

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Till Cynthia busted into it.

PALADIN
Well, Cynthia’s not here now and I am. You want your day?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
That’s fine.

PALADIN
Now all you need’s a gun.

SHERIFF REYNOLDS
Mine’s over there. ’tain’t no good to me or anybody at all.

PALADIN
Oh, yes. This one will do nicely. Mm-hmm. Laredo Perkins, School is about to begin.

EXT. TOWN OF CEDAR WELLS – DAY

PALADIN
Yee-hee! yee-hoo!

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Anybody killed out here?

TOWNSMAN (O.S.)
Amos Saint back in town?

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
No. Just a cowboy. You mind taking your shootin’ uptown a ways?
We’re playin’ blackjack in here.

PALADIN
Mister, you put your fancy coat on.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Uh, n-n-now, just a minute here.

PALADIN
I’m gon’ need me an undertaker along.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Yes, sir.

PALADIN
Everybody out!

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Beggin’ your pardon, Mister… Huh?
But you’re bound to get shot if you don’t hightail it out.

PALADIN
Oh?

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
This is Amos Saint’s territory.
When he finds out there’s another gunman around,
He ain’t gonna like it.

PALADIN
Amos saint.

PALADIN
Now, you gentlemen all heard about Laredo Perkins?
Last time he had one of his men get bumped into,
He burned the whole town right down to the ground.

MAYOR
What’s going on?

TOWNSMAN
Don’t nobody know who he is, Mayor. You better see to him.

PALADIN
And after he run the town council outta town, he hung the mayor up by his toes.
That’s what he done. That’s what he done.

TOWNSMAN
Whoa. Outta the way, cowboy.

PALADIN
Well, no. Now, you two fellas gonna have to move.

TOWNSMAN
The only man I ever stepped aside for was amos saint.

PALADIN
Amos saint? Now, undertaker, you go tell those two fellas that they better lay down there because I gotta get way up on them steps and I don’t feel strong enough to do it this mornin’.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
He’s one of Laredo Perkins’ men.

[]

PALADIN
Yee-hoo! We gotta get this town on a friendly basis.
Nobody havin’ any fun around here at all. Oh!
Ah. Now, how’s about havin’ me a drink?
I’ll have a bottle here. Lovely, just hold this bottle.
Everybody’s gonna drink… Sit down!

PALADIN
Mr. Undertaker, you get my friends a drink So they’ll all be happy, too.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Yes, mister.

PALADIN
Mmm. Sinful, you want a drink?

BARKEEP
Who is he?

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
One of Laredo Perkins’ men. Some of the talk is, they took over amos saint’s gang,
And they got a whole army in the hills.

M
Mmm.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
N-now, boys, Don’t start anything.

MAN
Shut up!

PALADIN
Drinks for everybody!

ED
Who’s gonna pay?

PALADIN
It’s all on laredo perkins.
He may just buy this place, he
doesn’t decide to burn it down.

ED
Throw him out.

PALADIN
Them two fellas just keep bumpin’ into each other.
Ain’t that the darndest thing you ever saw?

BARGIRL
I’m really glad to meet you, mr. Perkins.

PALADIN
Oh, honey, I’m not Laredo Perkins. I’m just a hired flunky works for him.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
It’s him! It’s him! He’s comin’! Laredo perkins is comin’. He’s comin’.

PALADIN
Laredo Perkins is comin’? Well, now, let’s everybody get up!
Get up. We’re all goin’ out and welcome ol’ Laredo Perkins.
Yes, we’re all goin’ out there and welcome Laredo Perkins.
Come on, lovely. Sinful. Come on. Everybody out!
Come on! Come on. Let’s go.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Welcome to cedar wells.

TOWNSMAN
Ask him not to bring the rest of his men into town.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
If-if-if you could see your way clear, Mr. Perkins,
Not to bring your gang into town, We-we’d sure appreciate it.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Ah!

THEODORE THOMAS
You gonna kill any of them today, Laredo?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Oh, depends.

HOTEL DESK CLERK
Suppose the whole town chipped in and paid the other one to kill this one?

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Paladin? But who’s gonna kill him?

PALADIN
Well, now, mr. Undertaker, maybe I got a solution for you.
You come over here.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Uh, j-just joshin’, that’s all.

PALADIN
I know where there’s a sheriff. The one you run out. Maybe I can go and get that sheriff.
I sure am not gonna draw against that laredo perkins. If I got that sheriff, I could turn laredo perkins in to him, Provided none of you smart and
clever people here in this town Are gonna try and steal
that reward from me.
Is that the way we’re gonna
do it? Yes, that’s the way.
You go and get me my horse,
mr. Undertaker.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Yes, sir. Mm-hmm.

THEODORE THOMAS
And you figure you killed more people than jesse james?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Depends.

THEODORE THOMAS
How ’bout billy the kid?

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Theodore Thomas! Teddy, you get back into class.

THEODORE THOMAS
I don’t have to. You tell her, laredo.

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Tell me what?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Well, I…

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
These louts may be afraid of you, but I’m not. I try to teach these children a decent respect for learning, And then I have a killer undermine all my work. I don’t care what you do. I won’t take back a word of it. It’s… It’s because of…Depraved animals like you there are saloons and dance houses And only a dirty old warehouse for a school!

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
You don’t understand.

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
I-I-I do. Yes, I do.

THEODORE THOMAS
Ain’t you gonna kill her?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
No, no. You run to the gold chance and tell ’em I want all of them at the school. Make certain they bring paint and tools with ’em. Warehouse for a school. That’s a terrible thing. I don’t think you’re usin’ the right methods. Drill- is that all you do?

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
What?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Now, my theory is…Well, take shakespeare. Macbeth.
You gotta make ’em see the three witches in their minds.

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Well, I… I never looked at it that way.

ED
Sure hope paladin gets back with that sheriff right quick.
This one’s sure goin’ plumb crazy.

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Keep working out here.

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
I’ve really got ’em workin’ now, miss ruth. They’re startin’ on the roof.

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Oh, that’s wonderful. Thank you. Do you know this is the only full set of shakespeare
North of santa fe? I brought it with me from normal school. Oh, I had such great ideas, but…Well, how can you expect children to care about poetry when they live in a town like this?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Now, you see, here’s what I mean. King henry, before the battle. Everything stands against him. But he’s not afraid. He gambles. He dares everything.
Not just memorizing. “we few, we happy few, we band of brothers. for he today that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother.”

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Oh, it’s terrible.

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
I’m sorry, miss ruth. My voice is a little…

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Oh, no. No. No.
I mean that you should be so vicious and depraved.
Why, you would’ve made a wonderful teacher.

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
Do you really think so? Yes.

ED
Well, at least we got that porch fixed.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Yeah? Well, now you better go up there and fix the roof. Look.

ED
Oh! Mr. Perkins! Mr. Perkins! Amos saint’s back.

AMOS SAINT
I’m lookin’ for Laredo Perkins.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
That’s him there.

AMOS SAINT
I hear you’re gonna ramrod this county. They say you got the fastest gun. You’re gonna have to kill me to prove it. You ain’t gonna nerve me off. I don’t care how many you killed. Now, make your play. Come on! Draw! What’s the matter with you?

AMOS SAINT
No firing pin. Boys, I’m gonna kill me a real live badman.
But first we’ll let him sweat a bit. Huh?

BART REYNOLDS – SHERIFF
That’s Amos Saint!

AMOS SAINT
Move! Move.

BART REYNOLDS – SHERIFF
What are we gonna do?

PALADIN
Keep ’em busy.

BART REYNOLDS – SHERIFF
You’re cut off! You can’t get out!

AMOS SAINT
Come on in and get me!

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
You can’t do that. Only set of shakespeare north of santa fe.

[Paladin jumps down from the rafters and shoots Amos dead on the way down]

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Laredo. Laredo!

PALADIN
Come on, laredo.
Laredo, if we’re gonna catch that stage, we better move.

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Oh, no. He’s not traveling with your sort anymore.

PALADIN
That true, laredo? You reformed?

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
He’s never wearing a gun again. Isn’t that right?
He’s going to stay here and build a new school and teach.
Aren’t you?

TRAVIS/LAREDO PERKINS
That’s right. I’m gonna stay here and build a new school and teach. I’m through killin’.

PALADIN
Well, that’s what they all say.

RUTH – SCHOOLTEACHER
Well, he means it. And you…You can just get out.

PALADIN
Well, yes, ma’am, miss ruth, if you say so.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
Ain’t you gonna shoot it out with him?

PALADIN
Well, no. Laredo’s hung up his gun.

EZRA HEATH – UNDERTAKER
I know his sort. Once a killer, always a killer.

PALADIN
I don’t know, mr. Undertaker. I think maybe laredo’s had his day. Hmmph.
So long, sheriff.

BART REYNOLDS – SHERIFF
So long.

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