Director: Andrew V. McLaglen, Writers: Shimon Wincelberg, Herb Meadow (creator), and 1
ROBERT GIST as Ike Brennan, BRAD WESTON as Esteban – Indian Leader
CHARLES H. GRAY as Cavalry Lieutenant (as Charles Gray), JOSEPH HAMILTON as Father
SUSAN DAVIS as Maureen Brennan, CYRIL DELEVANTI as Speedy Deliverer
Plot holes: Paladin is driving a wagon with a spare wheel tied to the side. The wheel is larger than any of those used by the wagon. Paladin and his passenger happen across a family stranded with a broken wheel on their wagon. That broken wagon does require the larger wheel. The wheel is installed on the wagon, the family is rescued, and Paladin goes on his way. Notwithstanding the improbability of carrying the unneeded wheel, this incident has nothing at all to do with the main storyline of the episode.
Paladin: You hired my time, Brennan. Nobody hires me.
This is kind of a bad episode all around, a rare clunker for the series. Paladin is summoned by Ike Brennan (Robert Gist) to help him no questions asked. Of course, Paladin passes, until Brennan confesses a tribe of Piyoutte Indians are holding his wife hostage and will kill her (or worse) unless he delivers a wagon load of goods to them. Paladin signs on. On the way there, he insists they stop to help some travelers change a broken wagon wheel (yes, giving them their spare which is WAYto big for their rig, but fits perfectly on the one that has a broken wheel!). Paladin discovers that among the goods Brennan is bringing to the Indians is a Gattling Gun, complete with ammunition. Now where and how a civilian like Brennan would have been able to acquire such a weapon, no questions asked is not answered. But Paladin manages to rescue the woman (Susan Davis) and keep the Indians from getting the gun and slaughtering the cavalry.
This is a combination of a bad script (the incredibly dumb ending where Paladin asks the Indians to “stand over there” while he fixes the Gattling Gun is just unworthy of this usually smart series), bad acting (Brad Weston as the Indian Estebahn is particularly unconvincing) and bad producing (that wagon wheel really is too obviously large for their rig. It’s only purpose is to be there for when the strangers’ rig breaks down).
There is a nice scene between Paladin and Brennan on the ride there where Brennan reminisces about fighting the father and brothers of his bride to be, and a nice visual gag with the aged Cyril Delevanti as a “Speedy” deliveryman in San Francisco, but that’s about it.
Brennan, what kind of a man are you?
You whipped Fred, Theodore, Louis, and John,
And then you beat up Tim.
What are you doing now?
Speedy messenger service.
He’s waiting for you on the Kaibab Forest Road.
Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who’s waiting and why?
Do I ask him why? Do I ask him who? Speedy’s my business and questions slow me down.
Do you always deliver loose money like this?
I told him he ought to wrap it. But he was in a hurry. So am I. There’s a city out there
waiting for its bills, Its invoices, checks, messages-lifeblood of the nation.
All right with you if we get on with it?
Oh, I beg your pardon. Excuse me.
EXT. ON THE TRAIL -DAY
Well, what took you? When I pay a man, I expect him on the job.
I don’t have a job. I don’t know who you are or what you want.
I haven’t got time to explain it to you now. Climb up here.
You explain it now or you won’t explain it at all.
All right. I’m Ike Brennan. I’m in the furniture business in New York And I’m here buying timber. I’m told you’re a good man with a gun and a team. I sure need a man like that.
I’m not a shotgun guard.
I know that. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have hired you. Now, the Indians have got my wife.
You need the cavalry, not me.
They’re gonna kill her. And if they see the cavalry, they’re gonna kill her. Climb up here, man. Let’s get going.
I don’t understand this.
All right, I’ll explain it. I was up in the Kaibab Forest Buying lumber for my factory. And we were captured by this little gang. They killed the drivers. And one of them speaks English. And he kept Maureen. He sent me back to get a wagonload of food and blankets And like that. If I’m not there in two days, they’re gonna burn her.
I’m a city man. I need a guide. I’m told that you know the Indians.
Two days from here to the Kaibab Forest? It’d be close.
Maureen is up there with him. You make up your mind, man.
Hyah! Hold it.
What you stopping here for?
We got to rest these horses sometime. What are you looking for back there?
No Indians around here.
I’m looking for the blasted cavalry who are.
If the Indians see that cavalry first, What do you think they’ll do to Maureen? Pass the water. Eh, boy, it’s hot. You know, I’m her father’s age. It drove her dad right out of his mind. “you’re an old man,” he said. “and she’s a young girl.” So I beat him up to show.
You don’t give up easily, do you?
No, I don’t. I beat up the man who became my father-in-law. And the lord bless him for that. Then I beat up Tom, her oldest brother. And a sweeter man you never met in all your life. And then I beat up Fred, Theodore, Gene, and John.
Why did you do that?
Then I beat up Tim. The biggest and the youngest. Well, by that time, we were so tired,
We decided to postpone the wedding till the next afternoon And devote the rest of that one to drinking and singing. Ah, Maureen sang like a bird. All right, come on, man.
Let me get over on my side
where I belong, huh?
Ha! Get! Giddyup there!
EXT. ON THE TRAIL -DAY
Howdy. I’d take it kindly if you’d lend us a hand. We ain’t got no tools for that wheel, And the old woman’s suffering something awful from the heat.
We’ve got a spare wheel on the side of our wagon.
You ain’t gonna gamble my woman’s
life on this. Get her moving!
Go ahead, sir. Unstrap it.
You touch that wagon, They’ll have to scrape you off the ground. Now, let’s get going.
Brennan, You wanna get to the kaibab forest? Come on! You hold that for us?
Miss, will you put that box under the axle, please?
Good samaritan, huh?
Hope you folks ain’t thinki” On heading up into the pass. There’s a score of bad indians up there. Cavalry patrol warned us most particular.
What kind of a man are you anyway? Willing to risk a woman’s life so you can play good samaritan To a bunch of nesters, huh? Who hired you anyway, I’d like to know.
You hired my time, brennan. Nobody hires me. Give me the nut.
00:08:18,664 –> 00:08:20,430
Slow down. Whoa.
Here we rest them
a little bit.
Whoa now, mare.
Hold, black mare.
Ah, I should have
listened to maureen.
She didn’t wanna come
out here in the first place.
She’s too tenderhearted
To even take the hook
out of a fish.
Boy, when I think of what those
savages might do to her…
Look. It’s a cavalry. Ten or twelve of them.
What are we gonna do? Think we ought to try and outrun ’em?
Outrun ’em? Why?
I’ve got no business with them.
Maybe they’ve got some with us.
no right to stop us
When the loss of a single minute
might cost Maureen her life.
Let’s get going.
How do, sir?
You folks ain’t thinking on
going up to that pass, are you?
No law against, is there?
No, sir, but you might just wish there was. There’s a gang of cutthroat Piutes running wild up there. They just about paralyzed all traffic going through. You all quite sure you got some urgent business up that way?
Well, I can’t force you to turn back. Though I reckon you might thank me if I did.
Come on. Let’s get going.
You sure in a great sweat to get yourself scalped.
Well, it’s my hair, ain’t it?
What you got in there anyways that’s so all-fired important?
Food and blankets. For a mining camp.
Mining? Up that way? Now, mister, I may be just a little old farm boy, But I ain’t that big a fool. Sergeant, take two men. Robeson, Dimmert, dismount and unload the wagon.
This gentleman’s got me plumb curious now.
I told you we should have kept going. By heaven, I’ll blast the first man that takes…
What kind…What kind of a gunman are you anyway? Looking by without a peep from you While they’re throwing away the last chance I have To save Maureen.
You really wanna catch those piutes?
I sure ain’t out here for my health.
How about just letting us be the bait?
You’d stay two
or three miles behind us.
When you hear the gunfire,
come catch ’em from behind.
Hold on a second. No need to strip it. That’s a might chancy for you folks, isn’t it?
This gentleman’s got a personal score to settle. He’s willing. So am I, as long as
he pays me. You got any objections?
Well, if the good lord chooses to create durn fools, I reckon it ain’t my business to interfere.
You better give us about an hour’s head start. Wouldn’t wanna scare ’em off.
All right, you men. Fold up those blankets good. Put ’em back. I don’t care if it takes all day.
00:12:24,309 –> 00:12:26,543
just leave ’em be.
00:12:31,917 –> 00:12:33,684
Come on. Whoo!
We’ll just stay right on their trail, sergeant, Whilst we figure what they’re really up to.
The indians will have them spotted before we even get close.
Brennan, what’s in the wagon?
00:13:21,967 –> 00:13:24,235
What are you carrying to the indians?
Food and blankets, just like I said.
00:13:26,305 –> 00:13:28,739
That’s a pretty big pile of food and blankets.
00:13:28,806 –> 00:13:30,741
That’s their business, not yours.
00:13:35,347 –> 00:13:37,781
We’ve only got
about three hours.
I wanna see what’s in
the wagon. Start cutting.
You know, the cavalry
will be here soon.
00:13:57,902 –> 00:13:59,503
All right, I lied to you.
It’s mining equipment,
just like I told the lieutenant.
That’s what you’re carrying
to those renegade indians?
A gatling gun?
How much are they
paying you for that?
It was the only way I could
bargain for maureen’s life.
00:14:31,436 –> 00:14:33,704
It was the one thing
they wanted bad enough
00:14:33,771 –> 00:14:36,207
To trade for the pleasure
of burning us alive.
You’re trading two lives for the
hundreds they can kill with that gun?
00:14:39,277 –> 00:14:40,744
That sounds fair.
00:14:40,812 –> 00:14:42,313
What are you gonna do?
I’m not gonna do anything.
I’m gonna wait for the cavalry.
00:14:45,217 –> 00:14:47,017
It’s their responsibility now.
00:14:47,084 –> 00:14:50,854
It’d be like you murdered
my wife with your own two hands.
00:14:52,757 –> 00:14:55,025
What about you? Hmm?
You think that lieutenant’s
gonna pin the medal on you
’cause you turned me in?
I’ll tell him that you knew
they were catching up with us.
And you figured to hang me
to save yourself.
Right here in the fields.
Sure, I’ll hang.
But you’ll hang
right there beside me.
They’re getting closer,
Oh, please, mister.
Please, will you do it
for maureen’s life?
Isn’t there some way we could
do something to save her?
It’s an ammunition canister
for that gatling gun.
Yeah. Maybe we can still
make that delivery.
00:16:14,255 –> 00:16:15,522
00:16:15,590 –> 00:16:18,675
That lieutenant may not
see things the way we do.
00:16:25,350 –> 00:16:27,618
00:16:47,738 –> 00:16:50,340
watching us right now.
That cavalry’s less than
a half hour behind us.
00:17:02,520 –> 00:17:05,122
What are you gonna do
with that battered canister?
00:17:05,190 –> 00:17:07,791
Them indians may wanna test it
before they let us go.
Oh, the lord help us, paladin.
We’re a pair
of flamin’ jack-asses.
I’m gonna get her away
from those murderin’ savages
Even if they skin me alive.
00:17:50,235 –> 00:17:52,169
Whoa now. Whoa.
00:17:57,943 –> 00:17:59,209
Where is she?
the killing machine?
00:18:00,945 –> 00:18:03,213
It’s in the wagon.
Now, where is she?
She is yours.
00:18:10,055 –> 00:18:13,490
Oh, my. Oh, my.
00:18:15,593 –> 00:18:17,361
Are you all right?
00:18:17,428 –> 00:18:19,530
I’m fine. I’m fine.
00:18:19,597 –> 00:18:21,198
00:18:21,266 –> 00:18:24,368
Look at your lovely ol’ face.
00:18:24,435 –> 00:18:27,371
What about the cavalry?
Where are they?
00:18:27,438 –> 00:18:29,373
I fought them to get here.
00:18:29,440 –> 00:18:32,142
And it was a pleasure
all the way.
00:18:32,210 –> 00:18:35,011
But what do we do now?
00:18:35,079 –> 00:18:36,680
00:18:56,801 –> 00:19:00,570
Out of the way, man. I’ve
kept my part of the bargain.
This is a very difficult machine to master. Surely, you will give us a demonstration.
All right. You wanna waste ammunition And alert every cavalry patrol within 30 miles.
Let them come, huh? With a machine like that, I can kill enough cavalry to have all the munitions I want. I see one fired in vera cruz. I dream of it since that day. You show us right now. Then we be ready. If maybe you tell the cavalry where you come, huh?
All right. Miss brennan, wait up here in the wagon, Please.
00:19:43,180 –> 00:19:44,781
What’ll we do?
00:19:44,849 –> 00:19:48,785
Don’t think about me.
Do what you must.
We’ll give them the demonstration.
Now, gentlemen, what you have here Is a gatling gun, model 1862. It’s a crank-operated,
fully automatic weapon. A gun like this, properly placed, Can wipe out an entire wave of cavalry. All you have to do to cause this weapon to fire Is to place this canister of ammunition In this position.
Enough talk. Now you see how it spits fire. The cavalry. She comes, huh? This machine
is no good!
Well, let me see what I can do to fix it. You take your men over there.
00:21:56,748 –> 00:21:58,348
00:21:58,416 –> 00:22:00,617
Look over there.
Now maybe you fix the machine, huh? I give you one finger width of time.
All right, brennan, go over and stand by your wife.
I’m gonna tell you the truth, mister. If I’d have caught you two earlier today with that gun, Court-martial’d have strung you up in the morning.
Maybe that’s why I prefer the civilian way of doing things, lieutenant.
I’ll, uh… We’ll
escort you as far as kanab.
Much obliged, lieutenant. Miss brennan, you can do me a great favor.
Will you try and keep your husband in the city for a while?
00:24:36,340 –> 00:24:37,774